


What They Didn't Prepare For

by FollowMyLead



Series: Pepperwood's Rise to Fame [3]
Category: New Girl
Genre: Adventure & Romance, F/M, Fluff, Mild Language, Non-Graphic Smut, Romance, Some angst, book tour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-04
Updated: 2021-03-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 03:42:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27388144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FollowMyLead/pseuds/FollowMyLead
Summary: The Pepperwood Chronicles is rising to the top and it's time to introduce Nicholas Miller to the rest of the country. Nick and Jess set out on his first national tour ready to experience new cities and press events. Though they quickly learn about the pros and cons tour life brings them.
Relationships: Jessica Day & Nick Miller, Jessica Day/Nick Miller, Jessica Night/Julius Pepperwood
Series: Pepperwood's Rise to Fame [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965898
Comments: 16
Kudos: 36





	1. The Start of it All

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to everyone that liked/commented on the other fics!
> 
> I had no intention of making a multi-fic, but here we are. Enjoy!

The morning’s been a whirlwind. From getting off the plane and being driven across New York City straight to the studio where Nick is scheduled to interview with Good Morning America, they couldn’t seem to keep up. When they arrive, he is immediately taken to hair and makeup with Jess trying to follow alongside him and the production assistants walking with an elite athleticism. The makeup artists apply some light powder on his face and rub in some concealer where the bags under his eyes hang. He tries to keep his grunts to a minimum.

Then, he and Jess are escorted to a dressing room. They’re relieved to see a comfy couch that they could finally rest their feet on and catch their breath. As soon as the door closes, it swings back open with such velocity that Jess is pretty sure she has whiplash. The show runner greets them and begins to give Nick a rundown of his upcoming segment. She speaks rapidly and he feels like his head is spinning.

“You’re on in five,” the show runner holds up and her hand and leaves the room almost as fast as she came in.

The pair stay silent trying to process everything that happened in the short amount of time. “I have no idea what I’m doing, Jess.”

“Nah, you got this, Miller. You’ve done this plenty of times. Tell them about your book and answer their questions. Just focus on George and steal some glances to the audience.”

Nick nods his head accepting her words of wisdom as if she’s done this a million times. She’s right. He’s done this before and he knows his book back-to-front. They sit wondering what the rest of the day will bring.

If you had told Nick a year ago that he’d be in New York City kicking off a book tour, he would’ve laughed, and quite possibly, moonwalked away. Jess always knew that this could happen for her boyfriend, but she never thought she would be this involved. It was a coincidence that Nick’s press tour was scheduled during the summer, so it didn’t take much convincing for Jess to travel the country seeing different cities with her best friend.

Jess’s stomach rumbles a tune interrupting the silence. Their 3 a.m. wake-up time was too early for either of them to think about breakfast, and she forgot to pack snacks amidst the chaos of helping Nick find his sandwich-bag-wallet (which was tucked in his jacket pocket the whole time). Her stomach releases another small cry, but before she can ask him about breakfast plans, another assistant comes in and calls for them.

He tries to stay calm, working not to sweat his makeup off while he waits for his introduction. Jess notices that his breathing is becoming shallower. She steps in front of him, grabs his arm and uses her other hand to bring her hand into his hair. “You can do this, Nicholas. No matter what happens here, I’ll always love you.”

He peers into her eyes and the world around him stops. He takes a slow, deep breath and nods. Reality pulls him back when he hears his name and the showrunner takes his hand and shows him to his seat on stage. George Stephanopoulos greets him with a handshake and takes the seat beside Nick.

Everything happens so quickly after that. He hears someone call out _live in 20,_ the rest of the crew on stage scatter in different directions, and someone standing next to a camera uses their hand to count down from five. His interviewer starts talking to the camera and introduces the author to the world.

The conversation flows smoothly. The author tells George about his book and the idea behind the it. “This book is quickly climbing as a New York Times Best Seller. What about this book draws the young-adult audience in?” the GMA co-host asks.

“Well it’s got a little bit of everything. It’s sci-fi, it’s mystery, it’s romance; there’s something in it for everyone.”

Backstage, Jess watches her boyfriend glide through the questions. He’s a natural. She thinks back to a time when she would have to answer the questions for him. _It’s about a man who has nothing, and risks everything to feel something._ That’s still their go-to answer, but Nick has become more confident to explain more than that.

She comes out of her thoughts to hear an applause and catch him waving goodbye to the viewers at home. He returns backstage and wraps Jess in a hug.

“You did amazing!” she gives him a light congratulatory kiss.

“Yeah, it felt good!”

Nick’s publisher arrives next to him, “And you looked great.” He gives the writer a pat on the back. “You made it look like you do this every day.”

“Well I guess all of those local readings and Q&A’s were good practice.”

“Let’s keep that energy up for the next one.” And before the two can fully comprehend his words, they’re on the move again. The humid New York air hits them and they find themselves standing in the middle of the sidewalk-bustle. Merle spots the black SUV waiting for them on the curb and they’re onto the next destination.

On the road, Merle fills Nick in about his book sales and what people are saying about Pepperwood on Twitter. They are still holding each other’s hands, but Jess can’t tell who has the tighter drip.

The vehicle pulls up in front of an old building that looks like a department store. Nick and Jess follow Merle into the building where an older woman wearing bright colors with glasses sitting around her neck greets them. She introduces herself as Gladys, the store manager, and expresses how grateful they are that Nick is doing a book signing there. Gladys looks at Jess and recognition draws on her face.

“You must be Jessica Day, the inspiration behind Jessica Night,” she eagerly shakes her hand.

“Um, yeah. I guess that’s me.” Jess says shyly, but more surprised that people outside of her students know her role.

Merle steps in and reviews the game plan with Gladys. Jess takes this opportunity to examine where they are. The book store is huge. The escalators look like they go up three floors, and the sun seeping in makes the floor concept look even bigger. There are rows of books; Belle and the Beast’s library has nothing on this one. She feels Nick tugging on her hand, signaling that the team is on the move again. Gladys takes them through a door to the back of a store, and into a freight elevator up to the second floor. Merle explains to Nick that he will read a small excerpt, and then will be signing books for the rest of the time. She notices he feels more comfortable with that than television interviews.

Gladys introduces Nick to the podium, while Jess and Merle watch from behind the crowd of kids and parents. As he approaches the stand, he takes note of the size of the crowd. _It’s manageable_ , he thinks. He’s dealt with bigger crowds before, but deep down, he’ll never get rid of the jitters he feels before an audience.

“Thank you for coming. I’ll be reading a few pages from my favorite chapter. It’s a little violent, so brace yourselves.”

Nick opens the book, and glances up to meet Jess’s eyes staring back at his. She flashes him a big smile and a thumbs up. Throughout the reading Jess observes the crowd. Kids are sitting at the edge of their seats; Nick secretly loves to read that chapter because he knows that reaction never fails. And every time he gets to the part about stabbing Schmith, the crowd always releases a simultaneous gasp- he gets chills every time.

“Kill yourself,” Nick punctuates as he closes the book. He’s met with a welcoming applause before Merle steps in and directs them to Gladys where she is forming a line. The pre-teens scram to be the first on deck. Jess watches everything happening from the side. As soon as Nick takes his seat, he looks for her next to him. She’s on the opposite side of the room and he waves her over; she resists as first, but Nick persists. He turns to Gladys and asks her to get another chair for Jess, and before she knows it, his girlfriend is sitting on Nick’s left while he works through the line. His fans are thrilled when he signs his infamous _Kill Yourself_ signature. He occasionally stands to take a picture and some of them even ask her to be in them.

Dozens of autographs later, they finally fall on the comfort of their hotel bed. The two are so fatigued that they could fall asleep right then and there. Nick starts to doze until he hears her stomach begging for attention.

Jess grimaces. “Sorry. We forgot to eat this morning, and she noticed,” she jokes pointing to her stomach. “I’ll see if the mini-fridge has anything.”

Nick follows her lead and sits himself up. “No, you’re right. We haven’t had any time to eat, let alone breathe. We have about two hours before Merle takes us to the next press event. Why don’t we go grab some lunch, just you and I?”

She agrees to his idea with a jubilant nod. Jess takes hold of his hand and hoists him to his feet, nearly yanking him behind her out the door.

The pizza place is jam-packed with the lunch rush, but they forget to care as soon as the smells of fresh pizza permeate their senses. Nick mocks the thinness of the crust, declaring New York pizza has nothing on Chicago-style. They find a table on the patio and indulge. Jess breezes through two slices, and she almost thinks about going back for a third, but she’s full and sleepy, now, ready for that nap.

They take some extra time to watch the New York bustle before retreating back to the hotel for a short snooze.

\----

Merle leads the author and Jess up the stairs leading into a brick townhome. A tall man and a woman, who wears a smile stretched as far as London, stand at the top of the stairs waiting to greet the team. She starts to babble when they approach.

“Hi Mr. Miller, my name is Nancy and this is Kurt and I’m such a big fan of your book, and the kids love it too and we’re just so grateful that you would take the time to come read to the children and talk to them about your work. The kids look up to people like you, and you seem like such a great role model, and they’re so excited to meet you…”

Kurt who has his arm wrapped around her starts to interject.

“Thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to come. They’re orphans and don’t have a lot of role models in their lives, so it’s really nice to meet successful people that they can idolize. Come on in.”

Nick’s eyebrows rise to his hairline upon entrance. When Merle told them that he would be doing a reading for an orphanage, he expected to see the same kind of dark and gloomy building Annie lived in. To his surprise, he’s welcomed into a bright and spacious home accented by some elegant décor. The large couch nearly takes up the entire front room and he sees a corner of children’s toys and games.

Nancy excuses herself to go rally the kids whom are waiting upstairs, while Kurt offers them beverages. He hands Jess and Nick their waters, and Merle his coffee. Kurt shows Nick to a comfortable chair placed in front of the sofa and the kids soon make their way down. He is once again in awe as he counts up to twelve kids making their way down the stairs. Some of them appear bashful and other’s display their cheer with their biggest smiles.

They settle on the couch, fighting for the spots closest to the author. Nick spots a small girl that can’t be older than four standing behind the couch with a stuffed pig in her arms and her thumb in her mouth. Her long dark curls and rosy cheeks eerily reminds him of his favorite girl. While Nancy settles the children, and Jess and Merle are off to the side in their own conversation, Nick leans over to Kurt to ask why she’s alone.

“That’s Jamie. She was brought in three months ago; she’s been having a hard time adjusting.”

Nick’s heart twinges and he wonders why someone would ever want to leave such a sweet girl. He’s never been great at making new friends either- his best friends found _him_. He walks behind the couch and kneels to Jamie’s level.

“Hi. My name’s Nick. What’s yours?” Jamie keeps her thumb in her mouth and pulls her pig a little closer. “That’s okay, you don’t have to tell me. Do you want to know a secret?” She gives him a subtle nod, and removes her thumb. “I get pretty scared when I read to other people. I like to have a friend next to me to make me feel brave. Can you be my friend today?”

The girl studies Nick. Her eyes are brown, but they’re saucers like Jess’s. If he didn’t know any better, he might suspect that she could be their daughter and Jess somehow pulled off the biggest magic trick of their first relationship (the timeline is almost right). Jamie gives him an even bigger head nod and takes the hand that he’s holding out to her. They walk up to his chair together as Nancy places another one for Jamie next to him.

Jess witnessed the entire scene and her heart warms. She’s once again reminded that there is no other man in the world that she wants to raise her own kids with.

Nick reads some chapters with more life than he’s ever read before. He’s determined to give the kids an unforgettable experience. At some point Jamie took her thumb out of her mouth to laugh at his crazy character voices. He answers their questions when he finishes the chapters. They have questions unlike any other audience has asked him. _What did you want to be when you grew up? If a zombie eats Pepperwood, will he still be a detective hunting his own kind?_

He chooses a girl that looks about 11 or 12 years old. “Did you like school when you were my age?” Nick is stumped. Anyone who knows him knows that he did whatever he could not to go to school, and if he did, he wasn’t paying attention. But he doesn’t want to set a bad example. He takes a quick glance to Jess who shrugs her shoulders.

“Honestly, no. I **hated** going to school.” One of the boys, throws his fist and woos in agreement. “BUT that doesn’t mean it’s not important,” he continues. “See without school, I wouldn’t have the skills or the knowledge I need to write these books. And that nice lady over there,” he points to Jess, “that very special lady is a principal, and she loves kids. Her students are very important to her. She works very hard to make school a fun place to come to, and without teachers like her, we wouldn’t have all these cool characters in the world.”

He points to a boy wearing a shirt with Iron Man on it. “Who’s your favorite superhero?”

“Iron Man!” the boy holds out his hand as if he was shooting a beam from his palm.

“Do you think the people who created Iron Man could do that without school?”

“No,” all of the children say in unison.

Nancy tells them to say thank you to Mr. Miller. Before he stands, Kurt tells him they all made something for him. They line up to hand Nick their handmade cards. Some of them have illustrations of Julius Pepperwood on them, and others have _Thank you_ written in a variety of crayons, markers and stickers. His heart swells, and he looks up at Jess as if to say _Are you seeing this?!_ She proudly smiles and nods.

It’s dark when they get back into the SUV. Nick’s stomach grumbles. “What are you hungry for dinner?”

Before she can answer, Merle turns from the passenger seat to face them. “How about Indian? There’s this great place I love that’s not too far from the hotel.”

The couple looks to one another. They originally made plans to get dinner and go sight-seeing after. Neither of them knows how to say no to him.

“Indian sounds great,” Jess feigns excitement.

Merle wasn’t wrong; Jess gorges herself in the cuisine. His publisher takes the time to get to know Jess asking her questions about her own career and hobbies, and if she’s being honest, she wasn’t expecting his attention. The few times she met him before this trip, he always brought up business. Merle was even kind enough to pay, joking that technically Nick was paying for the trip because he gets a portion of the author’s earnings.

Instead of going back to the hotel with Merle, the couple decides to explore the city. She’s visited New York a few times before, but there’s always something new to see. They agree not to go too far from the hotel so they can go to bed at a reasonable time to recover from their extremely long day. The nap they took earlier sustained them for a few more hours, but they aren’t as young as they once were. Even getting through a full game of True American these days can be difficult.

The smell of something deliciously sweet, fresh out of the oven, wafts Jess’s nose and she instantly pulls Nick into the small bakery. A variety of donuts, cookies, scones, and just about every pastry imaginable are displayed behind the glass. She has to bite her lip to contain her laugh when she hears Nick start to heavy breathe next to her. They each buy one of the cupcakes that looks like it came from a televised baking competition. He doesn’t hesitate and takes a messy bite, frosting and all. His face is smothered in frosting, and Jess laughs so hard that she has to lean on the wall to hold her up.

“This cupcake is amazing, but it doesn’t taste anywhere near yours, Jessica.” She appreciatively smiles and wipes some frosting off his nose with her thumb. Before she can move away, Nick bends and pulls her lips to his, purposefully moving his face from side to side to rub in the frosting.

“Nicholas!” Jess can’t even try to be upset, because she’s giggling too much.

“What? I thought you should get to try it too.”

They clean themselves up and continue their stroll. It’s a gorgeous summer night. People around them race to their next destinations, and they have to make an extra effort to go around the pair walking aimlessly hand in hand.

They take an uneventful shower together and collapse under the white comforter. Nick scoots over to Jess’s side, throws his arm around her waist and pulls her close. In minutes, they’re in a deep sleep.

\----

The car pulls in front of another New York skyscraper. Someone dressed in all black, wearing a headset and holding a tablet greets them. He hands out guest badges and guides them into the elevators, and up to the floor where another person dressed in the same attire waits to meet them. “She’ll take you from here,” the nameless man says and disappears. She greets them with a curt nod and starts walking just as fast as the first man in black. The publisher follows and Nick and Jess eventually realize they need to follow too.

They reach a closed door with a sign on the wall. _Nick Miller_ is written in dry erase marker and below it reads _LIVE with Kelly and Ryan._ Nick’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. His grip on Jess’s hand tightens and his mouth dries. All he can do is point at the name plate and stare at Merle, expecting an explanation. Merle told them in the car that morning that Nick was doing another televised interview, but it wasn’t like Good Morning America, so there was no need to be nervous.

“Is there a problem?” The woman in black asks monotoned.

“No, he just can’t believe this is happening,” Merle responds. She opens the door to the green room and allows the three of them in. Jess pulls her panicking boyfriend next to her on the couch, keeping a hold on his hand. The production assistant asks if they need anything else and Merle shakes his head to excuse her. As soon as the door closes, Nick shoots up from the couch and begins to pace.

“You said this was going to be nothing like Good Morning America.” Nick shoots Merle a turtleface.

“It’s not. This is a talk show.”

“Yeah, one of the highest rated talk shows in the country!” Nick’s voice trembles. He doesn’t mean to be angry, but he’s not a fan of surprises, especially one this size.

Jess stands and faces his publisher. “Merle, could you excuse us for a minute? I need to speak with Nick alone.” She flashes her sweet Jessica Day smile that gets Nick to do anything for her.

Merle reluctantly nods his head and leaves the room.

Nick is still pacing. “Nick... Nick Knack… NICHOLAS!” Jess throws herself in his path and wraps her arms around his torso. His arms reflexively pull her in and she places her head on his chest. His heart is racing beneath her ear. “Nick, I need you take a deep breath with me.” She starts the sequence and he follows; they repeat the process three more times. On the third exhale, she puts her head back on his chest and pulls him tighter. She can hear his heart slowing down.

She pulls him back down to the couch and makes him face her. “You can do this Miller. You’ve done dozens of interviews like this, sometimes to crowds bigger than what’s out there.”

“But this one’s on television, Jess.”

“So was yesterday’s, and you nailed that one. You looked like such a natural. I’m so proud of you and how far you’ve come.” A small blush creeps on his face, and he shyly keeps his head down. She uses her finger to lift his chin. “Remember, you are incredible.”

An overwhelming feeling of love fills his chest. He pulls her into another heavy hug and holds it. A knock on the door forces them to break. He kisses her forehead and pulls it open. Merle steps in to tell them it’s time for him to be taken to hair and makeup.

The three followed the production assistant backstage and sat Nick in his chair. They were applying the final touches of his foundation when a showrunner approaches their guest with a list of questions on some index cards. “These are some questions that Kelly or Ryan might ask,” he handed the deck to Nick and disappeared. _Everyone here walks like their shoes are on fire_. Nick scans the questions, and it all begins to feel like too much again. His chest starts to tighten and the room warms up. _Did they turn the heat on? Why would they do that, it’s like a hundred degrees outside._ Before he can fully register his panic, Jess presses a light kiss to his lips. It was so faint he’s not even sure it happened. He only knows it was real because he’s immediately brought back to Earth.

“I love you no matter what,” Jess whispers. As if on cue, Nick hears his name being called and the showrunner is shoving him towards the stage.

He’s greeted with an applause from the audience, but the bright lights make it hard to make out any faces. Kelly Ripa brings him into a hug followed by a handshake from her co-host, Ryan Seacrest. It turns out they’re one of the easier hosts to talk to; it truly just feels like he’s talking to new friends.

“I just have to say I think the pining between Pepperwood and Jessica Night is my favorite part,” Kelly adds. The audience applauds to support her statement. “It’s so tasteful! You did such a great job of adding these moments, that seemed so small, but were actually monumental to them. Gah, I loved every word!”

“Thank you. A lot of it was inspired by the way my girlfriend and I fell in love.” Nick responds. He’s shocked by how quickly he responded- he _usually_ has to take an extra moment or two to think about the best way to talk about them to reserve their privacy at the same time.

The crowd and the two hosts release a simultaneous awe. This somehow encourages Nick to continue, “Yeah, she’s actually a big part of the reason The Pepperwood Chronicles exist. I always knew that I wanted to write about a zombie detective, but I couldn’t put anything together. It turns out she was my missing piece all along.” The audience releases another awe.

“Is she here with you?” Ryan asks.

“Yeah, she’s backstage right now.”

Up until that point, Jess was following along with every word her boyfriend was saying. Then she realizes she’s watching herself on the monitor and finds a camera pointing right at her. Jess freezes, and involuntarily throws a hand up to wave. She plasters on a small smile, and hopes that the rest of the country doesn’t notice how stiff she is. She keeps waving expecting the camera man to get bored and move on, but before she can understand what’s happening, the showrunner escorts her to the curtain that divides the stages. At some point, the hosts invited her on and everyone agreed. Nick runs to meet her at the curtain and he’s wearing a wide smile when she emerges. He takes her hand and gives it a big squeeze. It’s their favorite way of telling each other that they’ve got their back, and that neither of them is going anywhere.

Someone on the set already brought out a chair for Jess next to Nick. Kelly and Ryan welcome her with hugs and invite her to take a seat.

“So, Mr. Miller says that you played a big role in writing the book.”

“I don’t know about _big role;_ he likes to give me too much credit. I always have to remind him that he’s the one that created the world and put in the work.”

Kelly asks Nick another question and she takes this opportunity to get a good look at the scene in front of her. The lights make it difficult to see, but there looks to be a full crowd. There are three cameras pointing at them stationed in different areas behind the audience. Jess is glad she decided to put an extra effort in her hair and makeup this morning. She briefly glances at the dress she decided to wear. It’s a simple baby blue sundress with a subtle yellow pattern wrapping around her waist. It’s nothing fancy; she always tries to look presentable for Nick’s press junkets, and the warm New York air told her that pants or tights weren’t an option today.

Jess snaps back to reality when she feels Nick’s hand settle on her leg. He’s in the middle of telling them about their first adventure that inspired Julius Pepperwood. He doesn’t elicit all of the details, but it seems to be enough to keep everyone intrigued.

“Nick, I read that you wrote this book during a summer in New Orleans. Are any of Pepperwood and Night’s adventures a reflection of your guys’ time there?”

They swing their heads each other. Jess plasters on a smile, hoping they don’t see through it, and Nick replicates. They still haven’t looked away waiting for one another to answer first. Jess finally comes up with something she hopes is acceptable.

“Actually, we weren’t together that summer. We were only best friends at the time, and I encouraged Nick to take the trip. It took some convincing- I had to remind him how incredible he is- but he went and then came back with this humongous chunk of a book.” The audience laughs along.

“Well we might just be talking to America’s Most Adorable Couple,” Kelly comments. Someone signals to Kelly and Ryan that they are out of time, and they wrap up the segment. They thank Nick and Jess for joining them, and promote his book one last time. The hosts hug them goodbye, and the pair exits the stage. Nick is still reeling from the interview. Merle meets him backstage to bid him a good-job and talks about what he did well. Jess stays silent not paying attention to their debrief.

She was able to move past it on the show, but when Jess was brought back to that summer of having to cope with the fact that she had feelings for someone who was across the country with his girlfriend, old feelings quickly embraced her again. Merle and Nick walk side by side with Jess following behind.

\----

It’s their last night in the city and Nick wants to take her someplace nice for dinner. The rest of the day involved similar events: book signings, an interview with a newspaper, another interview for a smaller media company, and another reading. Jess was at every one, but she was distracted most of the day. Fortunately, Nick was too busy to notice. She tried to shake the feeling multiple times, but something was still bothering her. She just couldn’t figure out what.

Merle recommended a great restaurant that overlooks the river on one side and the city on the other. Nick notices Jess moving her food around her plate, but not eating it.

“Are you okay?”

She brings her eyes up from her food to meet his. “Yeah, I’m awesome. Why do you ask?” Hoping he’d believe her act.

“You barely touched your salad, and you haven’t said much… Come to think of it, you haven’t said much all day.” Nick reflects on his day and see’s Jessica with him, but he doesn’t hear her. He realizes he’s barely heard her voice at all since the talk show that morning. He reaches across the table and takes her hand in his. “What’s going on, Jessica?”

When Merle first told Nick about this press tour, he was happy. Then when he said that he could bring his girl, he was thrilled. But as time went on, he secretly began to wonder if this was going to be too much for her. Nick knew that it was even too much for him, but it’s his job. Every time he told her that she didn’t have to come if she didn’t want to, she wouldn’t hesitate to assuage his worry and seal it with a kiss. Then she would go on talking about all the things they needed to get in order for the loft while they were gone.

Now he’s wondering if his fears were right.

She tries to find the right words as her mouth opens and closes. He can see the hesitation in her eyes, and he’s trying to be patient, but the anticipation has him literally on the edge of his seat.

Jess takes a deep breath. “I don’t really know.” He tilts his head in question, but stays silent. “When we brought up the summer you went to New Orleans on the show, it’s like everything I had to deal with while you were gone came rushing back to me. And I thought I moved on, but I can’t shake it.” Jess puts her head in her hands.

After a short silence, Jess peeks her eyes out of her hands wondering why Nick hasn’t said anything yet. Her eyes have turned a dark shade of blue and they meet his dark browns with his brow creasing in the middle. He takes a deep inhale and slowly exhales.

“We never did talk about that- how you felt.”

She tries to brush it off. “It’s fine, Nick. We don’t have to bring up the past, especially not here, celebrating.”

“But I want to talk about it. I didn’t even know how I felt about you, but you knew all along and had to wait for me to stop being an idiot.” Jess chuckles. “Did you know you loved me then?”

“I don’t think I knew it was love…maybe I did… I don’t know what it was. I just knew that I wanted to be with you again. All of a sudden all of the reasons we broke up no longer made any sense. Then you flew away with Reagan and it felt like I lost you all over again.” She tries to swallow down the feelings that are stuck in her throat, but they’re lodged.

“Jess, you’re never going to lose me. Even if we can’t make it work again- God forbid- you will always have me.” A single tear falls down her cheek, and Nick reaches over to wipe it off.

“I never really gave myself a chance to think about it. But maybe that’s what’s bothering me- I never acknowledged how I felt.”

\----

The walk back to the hotel takes longer than they anticipated. Merle offered to send the car to them, but they wanted to enjoy the fresh air. Jess is feeling a little better after their talk. There’s still a tinge of sadness, but when she finally told him how she felt that summer, it felt like a weight she didn’t know was there lifted. _At least now, I can move forward_.

“So, what do you want to see tomorrow?” Nick breaks their silence.

“I was hoping to cover Central Park. I’d love to see the Conservatory Garden and it should be in full bloom! Plus, it’s supposed to be a nice day.”

Nick notices that she’s returning back to her usual, perky self. She does a little hop when she mentions the garden and he’s elated. “Okay. I think that’s a great idea. Besides, I’ve always wanted to see the baseball fields.”

“Nick, they’re just baseball fields. It’s not like the Yankees of New York play there.”

“It’s the New York Yankees- or just the Yankees-, and I know. I just think it _crazy_ that 26 ball fields fit in a park!”

She laughs at his enthusiasm. “Okay, 26 baseball fields it is.” He pulls her in close and they continue their stroll.

\----

They enjoy the hotel complimentary breakfast the following morning and jet to the author’s last press event. Apparently, a wealthy parent was able to pull some strings and set up a Q&A for a middle school. The two didn’t know what to expect on this press tour, but another school reading wasn’t one of them.

Much like the one Jess organized for them at her middle school, they’re escorted into the auditorium where the students are already filled in their seats waiting for their guest speaker. Some students have their copies in their lap, and others look like they don’t know what they’re doing there. The mediator introduces herself as Janene and tells the two she will present them momentarily. Jess caught her phrasing, but shrugged it off thinking it was a mistake.

“Students and faculty, today, we have a very special guest visiting us all the way from Los Angeles, California. Please welcome the author of The Pepperwood Chronicles, Nick Miller, joined by Jessica Day!”

The crowd erupts in applause. Jess frantically looks around trying to tell someone that she made a mistake and she wasn’t supposed to go up there. Nick gives her a reassuring nod, takes her hand and gives it a tight squeeze before he brings them on stage. _That would explain the three chairs_. Jess apprehensively takes her seat. Nick gives her one last nod, before approaching the podium and opening to a chapter in his book.

She listens intently. Jess pretty much has the book memorized by now, but she never gets tired of the way he tells it. Nick brings so much life into the characters; it’s like he was born to tell stories-- which is weird because he still sort-of hates people, she laughs to herself. He punctuates his last sentence and receives another applause while he goes to take his seat between her and Janene. Janene asks Nick the first few questions, then inquires Jess’s opinions about the book and her own character.

As the end of their two-hours draws near, Janene leans towards the two as if she’s got a fresh pot of gossip.

“Miss Day, it appears you’ve amassed quite a fanbase, yourself, being the inspiration behind the ferocious Jessica Night. How does that feel going from a middle school principal to almost an internet sensation overnight?”

Jess looks to Nick to see if he understood what she was talking about. His puzzled look tells her otherwise. “Uhh, I’m not really a ‘sensation,’” she giggles. I know Jessica Night has her own set of fans, and she deserves them. But I can’t take any credit.”

“Well Jessica Day does too. Actually, both of you do.” Nick-Knack and J-Day keep looking at one another and then her. Janene reads their confused expressions. “You do know that you’re trending, right?”

They shake their heads dumbfounded. They can hear the crowd try to hold back a laugh. Janene takes out her phone and shows them her twitter profile. #Ness is number seven on the trending page. Jess takes Janene’s phone, and starts scrolling through the posts.

_@PepperwoodGurl: #Ness is couple goals <3_

_@NightandDay: Jessica Day was ADORABLE on LIVE with Kelly and Ryan. #Ness forever!_

_@JandJ: Can #Ness just be my parents please? I need more._

_@Miller_fan_03: Where do I get a Nick Miller? She’s so lucky!!!_

One of the tweets even had a photo of them laughing at each other while they were eating. Jess hands the phone back as if it burned her.

“America has spoken, You’re the new it-couple.” Janene gushes.

They start to awkwardly stammer trying to deny it. Janene checks her watch and announces that they’re out of time. The pre-teens applaud one last time and file out of the auditorium. Janene makes her way back to the couple now standing with Merle, and thanks them for their time. Nick gives her a big smile, wipes his sweaty palms on his pants, and shakes her hand.

“What was that about Merle?!” Nick demands when they’re secure in the car. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I thought you knew,” he says unaffected by Nick’s outburst.

“No! I don’t have a twitter. That’s why I rely on you to tell me this.”

Jess takes her phone out of her purse and opens her Instagram app. She has sixty-seven message requests, and even more follow-requests. The principal always kept a private account in the event that her students found her. She doesn’t have anything to hide, but she’s always liked to keep a little privacy being that she’s already so open with people. She closes the app and notices that she’s got a couple dozen text messages from her friends and family acknowledging her interview with Kelly and Ryan. Cece congratulates her, and tells her she KILLED it; her colleagues say that she was a natural, and gush over how adorable her and Nick were. Five of the messages alone were from her mother, freaking out that her baby’s on tv, and she’s a celebrity now.

She puts her phone back in her purse and looks out the window wondering what’s to come in her future.


	2. The Middle of the Road

Schmidt greets Nick, Jess and Merle by the baggage claim carousel holding a makeshift sign with _#Ness_ scribbled on it. As Nick approaches him, Schmidt jumps into his arms nearly knocking him over. Nick struggles to break away and Jess watches in amusement.

“Ack! Schmidt we were gone for a weekend. You’ve taken showers longer than that.”

Schmidt finally lets him go, and turns to Jess for a more gentile embrace. “Yes, but now I have to remind you who I am so you don’t forget about me.”

The pair simultaneously rolls their eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal. We did one interview, and people just happened to find us super adorable.” Jess defends.

Merle releases a light chuckle. “Well guys, my ride is waiting. Nick, great job this weekend. We’ll see you on Thursday,” he pats Nick on the shoulder. “Jess, it was good to see you. I hope to see you in Austin this week,” he pulls her into a hug. He turns to leave and is blocked by Schmidt holding his arms open waiting for his hug. Merle gives him a curt nod and walks past him.

 _“_ Oh come on, Merle. I’m part of the team too!” Schmidt shouts after him. Nick laughs and starts to walk to the car. “Take us home, Schmitty.”

Despite their protests, Schmidt insists on walking them up to the loft. The exhaustion of the trip finally wares on them and they drop their luggage at the door making a beeline for the couch. As soon as Jess and Nick are in sight, their friends waiting in the kitchen shout _SURPRISE._ Nick jumps and karate chops the air ready to defend them. His alert expression morphs into a turtleface when he sees Winton, Aly, and Cece holding Ruth waiting in the kitchen under a banner that reads _Sorry for your Loss._

Jess is ecstatic to see her friends. She runs past Nick to greet them while he tries to recover from the fright. “What’s with the sign?” She asks while she pulls apart from Cece and takes the almost two-year-old in her arms.

“I was the buffoon that put Winston in charge of the sign,” Schmidt shakes his head as he rejoins his wife.

“Prank Sinatra strikes again!” Winston applauds his own antic.

“It’s not a prank Winston, you just messed up.” Nick says finally greeting his friends.

Schmidt made dinner for the group while Jess and Nick relayed their trip. Everyone wanted to know what it was like being on a talk show, and what all the talk show hosts are really like. Over dinner, everyone shares stories about their weekend. Aly tells the story of how Winston had another panic attack while he was studying for his detective’s test and took off his pants running down the street. Everyone guffawed when she said he came back eating a box of donuts and still no pants.

Jess looks around the table watching her friends enjoy themselves. Winston and Schmidt are having some type of debate while Aly acts like she's annoyed but is secretly amused, and Cece is feeding her daughter. They were only gone for a weekend, but she’s been coming to terms lately that all of their lives are changing. Nick notices the reminiscent look on her face. He takes her hand under the table and gives her a small smile. She then reflects how far her and Nick have come. They went from Nick tolerating her, to roommates (and roomfriends), to a relationship and then not— all the while, he was still her best friend. Now they’re supposedly America’s Sweethearts, which she still denies. She’s truly never been happier.

Their friends bid their goodbyes and Jess and Nick head straight to bed. After that awkward forum with Janene, they spent the rest of their day in Central Park. They stopped by the garden, and Jess was right, it was in full bloom, canvassing the entire area with beautiful colors. Their stiff muscles feel like they walked just about the length of the entire park. They meandered through the baseball fields, and Nick was even happy to see a little league game in motion. He and Jess sat in the grass and watched for a few innings. Then, they were finally on the flight back home.

“Nick do you have the toothpaste?”

“Yeah it’s in my bag,” he shouts from the bathroom.

She opens the front pocket of the bag carelessly thrown on their bed and her hand scrapes across something that feels like a stack of paper. Curious, she pulls out the pile of cards the kids at the orphanage made for him; she completely forgot about them.

“Hey did you ever read these?” She asks bringing the handmade cards with her in the bathroom. Nick rubs a towel over his wet hair and studies the paper.

“No, I never got around to it.” He smirks. “This was so awesome, nobody’s done anything like this for me.” They read the cards later that night when they’re both tucked in bed. Nick is touched by every single one of them.

_Dear Mr. Miller,_

_Thank you for coming to read to us. I want to write cool stories just like you, someday. I like to make up stories in my journal. It takes me to another place and I forget about everything that makes me sad. Ms. Nancy said that if I keep reading, and I do good in school, I can be one too._

_Dear Julius Pepperwood,_

_You’re an awesome zombie detective! It is so cool how you killed schmidth. I read that chapter over and over again. I can’t wait for the next book!_

Jess and Nick made a mental note to keep tabs on that kid. He picks one out made out of blue construction paper. The writing is scribbled like a small child and he makes out a picture of a kid holding hands with a man.

_Dear Mr. Miller,_

_Thank you for reading your book to us. It made me remember when my dad used to read to me. He died. I miss him a lot. Is your dad still alive? If not, maybe our dads are friends in heaven. Remember when Julius was mad and he talked to the sky? I do that too. Except I’m not mad. I talk to my dad. Ms. Nancy told me that he can hear me up there. Does Julius have a dad up there too? I like him a lot. He’s not scared of anything. I want to be like that one day._

_Love, Jamie._

Nick puts the card down willing the tears in his eyes not to fall. Jess lays her head on his chest and pulls him close. He puts the card on his nightstand and makes a promise to himself that he will write back to her tomorrow. He lays on his back with her head still resting on his chest.

“I never thought my book could ever do that,” he says almost breathless.

“People connect with all sorts of things. These kids really feel close to Pepperwood.”

Nick kissed her hair and turned out his bedside lamp. He closed his eyes thinking about Jamie and all of the kids Pepperwood inspired.

\----

The couple spends the next day lounging around the loft. They make a trip to the grocery store to get enough food until they fly to Texas. There's a cool encounter where Nick gets recognized; luckily, they don't ask to get a picture because he hasn't shaven in three days and he's pretty sure his sweats have a large stain somewhere. Jess finishes a tiny sweater she was working on for Ruth while Nick watches movies. He remembers the handmade card waiting for him on his nightstand, but every time he thinks of something to say, it doesn’t seem good enough.

Cece stops by on her way back from the office. “Jess, I know you guys are trying to relax before your next trip, but I need a big favor.”

“Do you need money? I’ll get my checkbook.” Jess turns to walk to her bedroom.

“No, I don’t need money,” she laughs at Jess’s unending devotion. “Schmidt has to go into the office once a month to keep his employment status at AssStrat. I would normally stay home with Ruth, but I have a meeting with a big, and I mean _big,_ magazine tomorrow to try to close a deal. Would you guys mind watching her?” Cece holds her breath. Even though, her friends taught her that it’s okay to rely on others, she still has a hard time asking for favors.

“Absolutely, I’ll watch the baby! I’ll watch her like I’m watching Patrick Swayze.”

“Don’t compare my baby to Patrick Swayze.”

“Right, sorry.”

Schmidt drops his daughter off in the morning. It takes him almost twenty minutes to leave because he can’t say goodbye to her without almost bursting in tears. Nick ultimately just starts to push him out the door. Schmidt kisses her head one last time and promises he will be back even if he has to crawl and ruin his best suit.

Fortunately, she is an especially easy baby today. They fed her, she napped, played with her and then repeated the cycle. Jess thought Ruth would cry a lot more considering who her father is, but she only does when she gets hungry. _That must be your mommy’s genes,_ Jess whispered to her. She teaches Nick how to change a diaper, or “reminds him,” as he claims. Either way, by her third changing, he takes control of the smelly situation to help Ruth like it's his day job.

At some point, Nick got an idea that he wanted to write out, and Jess convinced him that she didn’t mind taking care of her alone for a while.

He emerges from his office two hours later, looking down at his notepad. “Hey Jess do you think Pepperwood would-“ he stops at the sight in front of him. His girlfriend and her niece are asleep on the couch, one arm under Ruth’s head acting as a pillow and the other wrapped around her keeping her close to her chest. The TV is playing some kid show of crazy looking characters dancing in the background. His heart melts at the scene as he pulls his phone out of his pocket to take a picture. Nick takes a seat in the armchair across the couch and watches them breathe in sync for a few moments.

He imagines a similar scene of Jess sleeping with their own baby someday. He tries to visualize what they would look like. _Would they have his eyes and her smile? Or maybe her eyes and his nose- god, he hopes not. No matter what, they have a Jessica Day patented smile._ Nick pulls a blanket over them, kisses her head, and returns to his office.

\----

The flight to Texas is later in the morning, this time. Merle greets them at baggage claim and they all cram in a cab to the hotel. Nick’s first signing isn’t for another few hours, so they have time to drop off their bags and settle in. Merle offers to show them around the city while they wait.

A Texas summer and a New York summer are nothing alike. They share humidity, but Austin can reach up to one hundred degrees. Unfortunately, today is one of those days. Jess’s sundress even makes her feel like it is too much clothing, and Nick had sweated through his shirt so much, he had to go change before his first book signing.

Despite the heat, it's a beautiful city. Everyone is genuinely nice and the food is even better. Nick eats his weight in barbeque, which he immediately regrets at his following signing. He's grateful he is sitting because standing for an entire reading didn’t seem plausible. _I tried to warn you,_ Jess’s voice rings in his head and he growls in annoyance.

The rest of the trip consists of similar events: good food, some press, and sight seeing. Nick never imagined that he had this many fans. Sometimes, he would recognize a reader at multiple press junkets; he always tries to do something a little extra for them in return.

Jess grasps the expanse of her popularity a little more at each one. She still tries to avoid taking any attention away from Nick, but there’s been instances where her presence was expected. It never seems to bother him, though. In fact, he often welcomes her with a smile and a kiss on the cheek.

Thursday and Friday in Austin are short lived. A fast flight to Dallas lands them in the new city with just enough time to eat brunch before his midday-news segment.

“So Nick, you just kicked off your first press tour. What’s it been like for you so far?” the news anchor asks.

“It’s been really great. I’ve gotten to meet so many people, and I get to visit some really cool places.”

“How long are you in Dallas for?”

“I’m here for two days, and then we fly up to Chicago for a few days, so I’ll get to see my ma and the rest of my family.” Nick’s heart flutters at the statement. This time, he gets to bring Jess back as his girlfriend. He’s especially happy because he knows Ma already likes her; she was never Caroline’s #1 fan. He can’t wait to pull his mom off to the side and tell her, _I think I got it right this time._

Jess’s stomach swirls at the same time. Even though his ma eventually warmed up to her, she knows Bonnie is especially protective of her family. For all she knows, she could still be mad at Jess for their first breakup (even though it was mutual). Jess knows she’s good with parents, and can charm the pants off most families, but his was unlike any other and she wanted his to accept her.

After his interview, they all went back to the hotel for a short nap. Merle warned them about the importance of rest, but he wasn’t kidding when he said the jet lag will catch up to them.

\----

 _This has to be one of the strangest appearances Merle will ever make me do_. The costume designer puts the last touches on his outfit as Julius Pepperwood and steps back to examine him. “Perfect!” Nick doesn’t really like to wear the outfit unless Jess is involved, but he figures if Jessica Night is involved, that will do. He turns to go find where the other designer took her for her own costume. He winds through a small crowd of other authors, illustrators and actors morphing into their own cosplay. He spots her in a makeup chair as the artist puts the finishing coat of red lipstick on. When he catches a glimpse of her, he stops in his tracks.

Once she’s excused, she gets up and makes her way to him with a small wave. Suddenly, he can’t register any motor movement in his body. Nick wrote Jessica Night in various kinds of outfits; most of them were a reflection of his roommate’s style, but others were based on some dark fantasies he had of a more rebellious Jess. And that’s exactly what they brought to life today. His eyes couldn’t stop perusing her up and down starting from her long legs covered with fishnet stockings up to the black pencil skirt that finely shaped her hips where a navy, short-sleeve button up shirt was tucked into. They kept a few buttons undone exposing a little more cleavage than Nick would like an audience to see. The sexy assistant costume was completed with her hair brought up to a messy bun and her glasses in place.

“Heya mister.” Jess says in her Judy Garland voice. “Care to fancy me a Shirley Temple?” He goes to speak, but all that comes out is dry air. She knows what it’s doing to him, and decides to have a little fun with it. “Like what you see?” She takes a step back and slowly rotates so he can make a full assessment. His pants become a little tighter. When her back is fully facing him, he wraps his arm around her front and pulls her against him. He drops his mouth to her ear and releases a hot breath. His strong hold on her makes her gasp and the breath she feels on her ear triggers a warmth growing in her stomach. By the small pressure she feels on her lower back, she can say that he felt the same way.

“I will be the only one taking that off.”

He spins here back around and places a chaste kiss on her lips. He’s gone before she can process any of it.

The convention reminds him of an indoor Solcalyalcon except **everyone** is in cosplay. He probably would feel more foolish if the surrounding authors didn’t look equally as ridiculous. A lot more people knew about The Pepperwood Chronicles this time, and for the people who didn’t, explaining it was a lot easier than the first convention. Merle had about fifty copies shipped to sell at the booth. The stack was progressively dwindling down and his publisher occasionally busted into a happy dance when he would see it get shorter. Nick has to admit, even though he feels bizarre, he’s having fun. Jess seems to be enjoying herself, too. She sits beside him answering questions for Jessica Night fans, and even switches into character when someone engages in an impromptu Pepperwood scene- he’s entertained every time.

Whenever there is a lull in traffic at their table, the tension between them reignites. Nick keeps stealing side glances switching between her legs and her uncovered chest. Jess gets hot and bothered every time Nick brings out his Chicago accent with his fans. Her eyes stay on the tight grip he takes on the marker with each autograph he signs. She can’t tell if she wants Nick or Julius more, and she doesn’t know how much longer she can take. Fortunately, the convention doesn’t last much longer.

The event staff takes down the tables and banners, while Merle packs up the remaining books. “I can take care of this. You guys go change out of those costumes.”

Jess makes her way back to the wardrobe department until Nick grabs her hand and pulls her in another direction. “Nick what are you-“ He puts his hand over her mouth to shush her. They’re tucked under a fake tree against a wall providing enough shade to hide them. His body is pressing against hers. She’s instantly brought back to a time years ago when they found themselves in this same position spying on her student; only this time, Nick’s taken complete control of the situation. She can vaguely see his sheltered eyes under his hat, but his hitched breath on hers tells her everything about his intentions. She only gets to the count of two before his lips are devouring hers.

She pushes back with the same determination and they’re in a battle for dominance. His hands travel from her back up her waist and landing on both sides of her face. She’d been fantasizing about his hands all night and they had the same strength she imagined. Her hands glide from to his lower back and lands in his back pockets; she pulls his butt closer, causing his pelvis to land on hers and he releases a small moan. He pulls away holding her tight and panting. “Let’s get out of here.” All she can muster is a nod.

They don’t waste any time to continue in the back of the cab. Jess likes to think she’s a little more civilized, but that goes out the window when Nick’s hand grips her thigh and then starts rubbing it up and down. That’s all she needed to attack his face again. Nick is too preoccupied to care about what the meter says when the driver pulls in front of the hotel. He pulls out a fifty-dollar bill and throws it in the window while Jess is pulling his other hand into the hotel.

They lay in each other’s arms, clothes strewn in different directions, limbs too fatigued to reposition. Nick strokes her hair listening to her breath even out. The steady beat of his heart is lulling her to sleep and she tries to fight it to enjoy the peace just a little longer. Eventually, she caves and her soft snores are the last thing he hears before sleep overtakes him too.

\----

Bonnie nearly prances out the front door when she sees the car arrive. Nick exits the vehicle and makes a dash to greet his ma. Jess filters out behind him standing a few yards back, partially to give them their time, but also because she doesn’t know how Bonnie will react. Jess has spoken to her a few times over the years- particularly, when Bonnie couldn’t get ahold of her son and she called Jess to find out if he was still alive- and it was usually friendly, but Nick inherited her temper and she knew that, like his, hers could erupt at any moment.

His mom holds him at arm’s length and studies his physique. “You got thinner. Are you eating enough? Do they got you on some fancy L.A. diet?” She cups his chin to scrutinize both sides of his face.

Nick pulls her hands down. “Ma, I’m fine. I’m not doing a dumb diet; I’m just eating more vegetables. Jess makes them in such a way that they don't taste like dirt-food,” he gestures towards her. It’s the first time Bonnie notices her patiently standing by the car with her hands folded in front of her. There’s a beat of silence, both of them wondering who will make the first move. Bonnie does when she opens her arms and approaches her, Jess lets out a nervous giggle and mirrors her actions. His ma squeezes her small frame tight.

“We’re glad to see you Jess. Is Nicky treating you right? I’ll smack him if he’s not.” She gestures a backhand in Nick’s direction making Jess laugh.

“He’s treating me very well; you raised a wonderful man.”

“Good.” Ma looks around the car and turns to Nick, “Where’s your publisher? I thought he was going to be with you.”

“He’s staying at a hotel in the city. We offered to let him stay here, but he said he wanted to be closer to the action- whatever that means.”

“Well what are we doing standing out here, let’s go inside!” Bonnie escorts them in and Nick drops their bags by the door. It looks almost exactly the same way as Jess remembers. She notices that some of the furniture is updated, but the walls still have the same wallpaper and photos of the family are still scattered about them. Jess stares at a particular picture of a boy who looks to be about ten-years old with brown hair down to the shoulders. She knows who she’s looking at by the downward crease in his forehead and brown eyes, and if that wasn’t clear, the infamous turtleface is a dead giveaway.

Nick walks up behind her. “The photographer told me to smile and I didn’t want him telling me what to do.”

Yup, that’s her Nick.

He shows her to the room they’ll be sleeping in and set their bags down. The room is cozy. There's a plush chair in the corner with a full mirror standing opposite of it. The four-post bed takes up the majority of the space, and there are a few extra blankets sitting atop. Nick grabs a red quilt from the pile by his thumb and finger and holds it away from him as if it has some sort of disease. He opens the door and throws it back into the hall. "There's a myth that everyone in my family was conceived under that blanket." Jess rapidly nods her head in understanding of his decision.

They make their way down to the kitchen where Bonnie looks to be cooking up some sort of soup. Nick seats himself at the table, but Jess walks to Bonnie and offers her any help. Bonnie insists that she doesn’t and Jess finally concedes taking a seat next to him.

Nick tells his mom his plans to take Jess around his hometown and show her some of his favorite spots before his official press business kicks off in two days. “Okay, just make sure you make some time for your party on Saturday night.”

“What party, ma?” Nick says remorsefully hanging his head.

“We’re throwing you a homecoming party!”

Her son tries to resist, and at one point they go back and forth with only _yes_ and _no._ Jess amusedly watches from her chair, and it’s no wonder where Nick gets his stubbornness. Part of her wishes she got to know Walt better so she could learn which traits Nick got from him.

“C’mon I want to show off how successful my boy is, a Best Selling Author on a world tour-“

-“It’s just the United States, Ma.”

“Well they don’t have to know that.”

He looks at him mom, then looks at Jess who tilts her head an shrugs her shoulder. He brings his hand up to rub his forehead and releases a big sigh in acceptance.

\----

He shows her anywhere that had some sort of significance in his childhood, starting with his elementary school. “I got into my first fight by that playground.” Jess gives him a disapproving look. “I was defending Winston,” he holds his hands up in defense. They go to a nearby park with a baseball field. Nick steps on the first base plate and tells her how he broke his wrist when he dove for the base, but didn’t even come close to it and was tagged out. They take a break and sit on the swings going back and forth sharing stories when they were kids. It somehow turns into a competition of who could swing the highest; Jess wins, because Nick got too high and got scared.

Her curiosity peaks when they walk into a small hut that can’t be any bigger than his family room. The only seating is a line of stools in front of a counter that faces the window. Two families are waiting for their order, so it’s a little cramped but it smells ravishing. The menu solely consists of hot dog and burger options, but Nick only orders two milkshakes. “These are the best milkshakes you’ll ever have.” He’s proven right when she takes her first sip and her eyes widen. She immediately goes back for more.

Touring the south side of Chicago takes longer than she thought. She flops on the couch once they get back to his old home. Nick goes to take a shower, leaving Bonnie and Jess alone on the couch. When he comes back down in sweats and a t-shirt, she and his ma are sitting next to each other looking through Nick’s baby pictures. Jess is delighted with every new page. He’s a little annoyed with his ma at first, but when he sees Jess's nose crinkle with her little giggles, he forgets everything else. He sits next to Jess and tries to defend his actions in the most embarrassing photos.

Jess wakes up before him the next morning. She waits for thirty minutes and decides to let him sleep in instead of waking him figuring he has to be exhausted from the tour. Downstairs, she finds Bonnie at the kitchen table reading the paper and drinking her coffee. “Good morning,” Jess greets her. She looks up from her paper and flashes Jess a smile and a good morning.

“Did you sleep okay?”

“I slept great! Nick’s still sleeping. I figured he needs all the rest he can get.”

"Help yourself to some coffee; it’s a fresh pot.” Jess pours herself a cup and sits across from her at the table. They drink in silence for a few minutes until Jess’s stomach rumbles. Bonnie laughs and offers to make her breakfast, but Jess insists that she make it for all of them. A smile grows on his mom’s face and she holds up her hands to give her free reign. “Okay. Nick tells me you’re quite the cook, anyway. Let me know if you need anything.”

They talk while she makes eggs, toast and bacon- _eggs without bacon is like a basketball without a hoop, Jess_ \- her boyfriend’s declaration repeats in her head. He groggily makes his way down the stairs and is almost enchanted by the scene before him. Jess is at the stove laughing at something his ma said from the table, and they’re getting along.

“Morning, Ma.” He walks behind Jess and gives her a peck on the cheek. He pours himself a mug and sits at the table just as Jess is ready to serve. While they eat, Bonnie asks about their plans for the day.

“I’m taking Jess to a surprise.” Nick winks at Bonnie. He looks at his watch and tells her it starts in about two hours. Jess scarfs down the rest of her eggs and dismisses herself to go take a shower. She comes back downstairs not even a minute later to ask him what she should wear.

“Whatever you want, you look gorgeous in anything.”

Jess looks down to try to hide her blush, especially from Bonnie. “But if we’re doing something like a mud race, I can’t wear one of my dresses unless I want to get mud in my private areas.” She says tightlipped.

“Okay, fine. Jeans and a T-shirt.” Jess gives him a small curtsey and runs back upstairs. He and Bonnie are still chuckling at her quirky comment.

“She’s really somethin’.”

“Yeah, she’s incredible.” Nick replies still staring in the direction she left.

“I was wrong to be so harsh on her the first time she was here. I was just so depressed about your father.”

Nick covers her hand with his own. “Ma, it’s okay. She knows. Besides, Jess loves giving second chances- it's kind of her trademark. And I think she really likes you.”

Her lips curve upward. “Well I really like her. Your father liked her too.” Nick’s eyes raise to question how she knows that. “He came back a few weeks after he visited you in L.A. He told me all about Nickel’s new roommate and the horse-sperm escapade. Said she was somethin’ real special.”

Her son’s chest tightens at the thought of his pop approving his girlfriend. He wishes Walt had the chance to really get to know her under different circumstances. Nick can only nod his head.

“I didn’t want to believe him when he told me that you had someone that takes care of you, but it’s obvious that you really care about each other.”

“Yeah. I love her more than anything.”

Bonnie studies Nicky when he said it. She gets up from her chair and grabs a box off the top of a shelf. She pulls out a small black box and puts it in his hand. “He wanted you to have this.” Nick opens the box to see a simple gold ring with an elegant diamond sitting between two smaller ones. He recognizes it as his grandmother’s. Walt told him and Jamie the story about how the ring has been in the family for generations, and someday, one of them would be lucky enough to give it to someone. _When you find a horse that works for you, put all your bets on it._ (Pop wasn’t great with the metaphors, but Nick got what he meant).

“Besides, between you and me, I don’t know if Jamie and DeAnn will make it.” He closes the box and wraps his mom in a hug. She excuses him and Nick makes his way upstairs shoving the ring in his pocket.

They get off on the train platform and go down to the street for the short walk to their secret destination. (Nick still won’t tell her where they’re going.) Jess notices everyone around them seems to be heading in the same direction as them. It’s a nice day to be outside, still a little muggy, but it’s nothing compared to Texas. Jess is also glad Nick told her jeans, because it’s the Windy City and she knows she would be much colder if she wore shorts. As they’re approaching their destination- Jess still oblivious to the giant stadium in front of them- Nick stops them. “Wait, you’re going to need this.” He pulls a blue Chicago Cubs hat from his back pocket and sticks it on her head. She finally puts the pieces together and her smile grows wide. He’s always wanted to take her to a Cubs game; Chicago sports is a big part of who he is. Jess doesn’t know much about baseball, or any sports, but she’s thrilled that he wants to share this with her.

He pulls two tickets from his pocket and gives her one as they enter the stadium hand in hand. They get in line to the concession stand first. _The rule is two hotdogs at the beginning, and two at the seventh inning stretch._ Once they get their snacks, they find their seats and settle in. Jess has been to a couple Dodgers games before, but one thing she takes away today is that Dodgers fans are **nothing** like Cubs fans. The fans here are completely devoted and intense. They yell when a player gets out, cheer when someone makes a good play, and boo when the umpire makes a bad call. Jess even caught Nick throwing a few peanuts when the ump called a certain pitch a ball when it should’ve been a strike.

Nick is more relaxed than he’s been in a while. He even sings _Take Me Out to the Ball Game_ during the stretch, and he **hates** singing in public. She adores seeing this side of him. It’s like his inner-child comes back out when he’s home. They get two more hotdogs and watch the final innings. By the sixth inning, Jess has a slight grasp of the rules of the game. She even starts to cheer with the crowd and yell with Nick. On one particular play, the umpire called an out when he slid to the base, and she starts to trashtalk.

“What, are you smoking ump? He was clearly safe! Someone tell this guy to see his ophthalmologist, because he obviously needs GLASSES.” So her insults could use some work, but Nick swears he’s falling in love all over again.

A Cubs player hits a homerun putting Chicago in the lead to end the game. The couple jumps up and down giving each other high fives and boisterously cheering in each other’s faces. In this moment, they feel like kids again; just two teenagers in love, enjoying a baseball game. There’s no such thing as interviews or “celebrity status,” or jobs- nobody cares about them here.

On the way back to the house, Nick notices the familiar area they’re approaching. He tries to ignore the gnawing feeling, but his brain takes over, and as if her were possessed, his hands unwillingly steer onto a street in the opposite direction of home. It dawns upon Jess what he’s doing when scattered headstones start to come into view. She notices the tension in his jaw and shoulders and that his hand hasn’t stopped tapping his lap.

They exit the vehicle and walk across the grass passing through memorials of passed loved ones. Out of habit, Jess reaches to grab his hand but repossesses it when she sees both of his tucked in his pockets.

They arrive at a simple headstone with the words _In Memory of Walter Miller. Loving Father and Husband. ‘I hope I didn’t bore you too much with my life story.’ -Elvis Presley._ They stand in silence, Nick trying to find the right words. “I don’t know what to say, Jess.”

“Say hello. He’s an old friend.” She gives his arm a squeeze and steps away to give him privacy.

It’s difficult at first. Nick’s not much of a conversationalist in his day-to-day. He starts slow, telling him about his book and what he’s been up to the last few years. He tells his pop that the rest of the family is doing okay, and that he and Jamie are taking care of Ma just like he asked. He even tells him about Winston getting married and all of his cat shenanigans. _Would you believe me if I said Winston became one of those crazy cat ladies? Yeah, I was surprised, too, at first._ Despite their rocky relationship, it feels like he’s talking to an old friend.

Jess is watching from a distance when she hears Nick call her back to him. They stand in front of his grave with his hand in hers. “Walt, you remember Jess? She’s the best thing that ever happened to me. I finally found a woman to love the way you loved Ma. Jessica kept her promise to you; she’s been taking care of me since the last time I saw you.” Her eyes slightly begin to water and her heart both warms and hurts for him at the same time. He’s quiet on the drive back, but the atmosphere isn’t stiff. He feels at peace like an old wound healed just a bit more and everything in his world feels okay.

\----

The next two days are more or less the same as any of the press events. Merle was awesome and set up a surprise reading for Nick at his old grade school. He sits in the familiar library in front of dozens of tiny children reading a variety of children’s books. (They wouldn’t allow him to read the Pepperwood Chronicles because it’s not age appropriate, so Merle compromised with this.) Nick feels a sense of pride returning as an accomplished author and having the chance to tell these kids why education is so important. A _very_ old teacher that’s been there for years approaches the author to congratulate his successes. He stares at her a moment too long trying to decipher if she was one of the teachers whom he gave a hard time.

She finally answers for him, “I’m Ms. Caryl, I was your fifth-grade teacher.”

Nick immediately feels guilty, he knows those were some of his worser years. “Oh, Ms. Caryl! It’s good to see you.” There’s an awkward pause, and the guilt speaks for him. “I’m sorry for being such a problem child back then.”

“Problem child? You were one of my favorite students.”

His jaw slacks followed by his brows furrowing in confusion. “Me? Nick Miller?” He starts to laugh in disbelief.

“Sure, you had your challenges, but you were a dedicated student. It always seemed like you had something to prove… Last I recalled, you told me you wanted to be a lawyer.”

There’s a feeling that Nick can’t describe when he hears that maybe he wasn’t as bad as he paints Little Nicky to be- it’s almost like a mixture of closure and pride. “Yeah, I was,” he beams. “I dropped out of law school, but I passed the bar exam. I probably have to renew it to still practice. Though, I did win a stupid case a couple of years ago.”

Her smile grows. “Good job, Nicholas. It’s nice to be reminded that the work I do isn’t for nothing. It’s students like you that make me love coming here every day.” She gives him a final hug and gathers her waiting students.

\----

Each night, they retreat back to the house drained from the day’s itinerary. On their last night in Chicago, they’re ready to call it an early night and prepare for the next morning’s flight. Nick steps in the front door with Jess in tow, startled to see the house crowded with people. Jamie spots Nick from the entryway.

“There’s Mr. Bigshot! Get in here.” He hooks his arm around Nick’s neck and pulls him to his chest to tousle his hair. The older brother starts to fight him which triggers a wrestling match in their place. Bonnie comes to scold them, then brings Nick and Jess into the rest of the house where Miller family and friends wait to greet them. If they had to guess, the party’s been in full swing for hours as everyone is already mingling with beverages and appetizers in their hands- some of them even acting like they have more than a few in their system.

Bonnie pulls Jess from Nick, hauling her around the house to introduce her to anyone and everyone. _This is Jessica…Nicky’s girlfriend,_ she beams with pride. Everyone seems excited to meet her, though some people she can’t completely read because of their tough, unimpressed exteriors. _Is it a Chicago thing or a Miller thing?_ she wonders.

She occasionally scans the crowd to see how Nick is holding up. She wonders if he’s getting bombarded with the same kinds of questions she is. Half of them are to learn more about her and the other half are about their relationship; a lot of wedding questions come up that she doesn’t know how to answer. So, she sticks with the truth: they don’t know when, and that’s okay with them.

Each of them sneak away to get some air and laugh when they see each other on the curb out front. Jess tells him about meeting everyone and all of their personal questions, while Nick explains that everyone wants to know what it’s like to be a “celebrity.” He tried to defend that he’s only an author and it’s not like he’s singing songs with Taylor Swift, but they kept ignoring that part. Nick has his arm wrapped around her, while she rests her head on his shoulder listening to the cricket’s chirp on the quiet neighborhood street. Bonnie eventually finds them and calls them back in, though this time, they stick together for the rest of the night.

\----

Two states, and a very long week later, they finally get to go back home for a few days. Upon entering their bedroom, Nick sees the card standing on his nightstand and is instantly reminded of the letter he owes Jamie from the orphanage. Guilt engulfs him again. He tried to think of a response a few times on the last trip, but still came up blank.

Darkness envelopes their room and the only sound in the room is Jess’s steady breathing coming from her sleeping form next to him. He blames the jet lag for the reason he’s awake this late, but rather his mind can’t seem to shut off. He reflects on the last few weeks and everything they’ve done on tour thus far. Sure, some days were so long that even his teeth felt tired, but there was never a bad day. Nick will never understand how he got so lucky that this was now his career. He made a lot of mistakes and it took him a long time to grow up, but it was all worth it if that means all of those once unattainable dreams are coming true. His thoughts shift to their time spent in Chicago. Everything was perfect there, too; Bonnie adores Jess, he got to show her his hometown, and he was gifted the family ring. The visit to his dad’s gravesite was raw. Frankly, he’s still not sure he would have said anything if Jess hadn’t been there.

As he’s thinking about Walt, his head turns to the card. His pop didn’t pass away until Nick was much older, but he knows what it’s like to be a kid with an absent dad. All of those feelings he felt as a child return and inspiration strikes. Careful not to wake Jess, he inches out of the bed and walks across the hall.

_Dear Jamie,_

_I’m very sorry to hear about your dad. But I know he hasn’t forgotten you, and if he could he’d wrap you in a ginormous hug. Just remember that he never wanted to leave you, okay?_

_I know that because mine passed away, too. That would be pretty cool if they’re friends in heaven. I talked to him up there for the very first time. I told him all about Julius Pepperwood, and how much I miss him. Sometimes I yell at the sky like Julius, because I miss him and it makes me sad. Can you keep that a secret for me?_

_I think you’re really brave, Jamie. And you’re very strong- you’re like Supergirl! She didn’t get to live with her parents either, and had to live with other people that took care of her. She was secretly scared, but always tried to be brave for people that needed her help. And you know what? I think you can be just like her._

_Tell your dad I say hello._

_Sincerely,_

_Nick Miller_

_P.S. My brother’s name is Jamie, but I think you’re way cooler than him._

Nick puts the letter in the envelope, seals it, and addresses it to the orphanage he had Merle track down. He makes his way back into bed and pulls Jess in close.

\----

Their couple-celebrity status seems to prosper with every new state they visit. They’ve now covered most of the Midwest region and go back east, then travel down south for a few weeks. Most of his fans want to see Nick & Jess, or Pepperwood and his girl, Night. She can typically move past it, but sometimes she can’t shake the feeling like it was wrong.

She started receiving so many follower-requests on Instagram, she finally decided to make it a public account. She has even been asked to appear on news segments or talk shows by herself, which she can’t quite wrap her head around, because what does _she_ have to talk about? She’s a middle school principal.

The line between Jessica Day and Jessica Night was undeniably blurry. To his young readers, she was Jessica Night- the strong, sassy assistant to Julius Pepperwood. The rest of the crowd saw her as Jessica Day, of Ness. She loves being there to support him, but after stepping off the stage from a particular interview, Jess accepts that she needs to create some space from the public eye to reestablish her own independence. Telling Nick will be the hardest part and her stomach churns at the thought of it.

They decide to spend one of their free days on a nearby beach in Florida. It’s a clear blue sky and the water is so blue they can’t tell where the sky ends and the water begins. The author is swimming, or squirming from where she's sitting, while Jess half-mindedly reads a book. This is a perfect time to tell him she wants to take a break, but can’t figure out how to do it without hurting his feelings. Nick loves all the traveling they’ve done together, and even more, having her there for moral support. However, she knows that he’s pretty much a pro at this, now, and she’s needed a little less than the beginning.

She's so deep in thought, she doesn’t see him return to their spot under the umbrella until he’s toweling off, flinging cool drops of water on her and the open book. “So, I’ve been trying to think of things to do in St. Louis, but I don’t know a lot about it. Of course we _have to_ see the arch. What do you think, Teach?” He lays next to her on the towel.

“Actually, Nick, there’s something I want to talk to you about.” He leans on his elbow to face her, his eyes laced with concern. She holds her breath as she continues. “I’ve been thinking about going back home for a couple weeks. I’m having so much fun, and I love being with you, but I miss being Jess- not Jessica Night.” She closes her eyes waiting for the fallout, but it never comes. When she reopens them, his eyes are pointed down. The arch in his forehead is the only reason she knows he’s thinking. Finally, he scoots closer and rests his hand on her bare waist rubbing his thumb up and down.

“Okay.”

“Okay? You’re not mad?”

“I’ll miss you a lot, but I told you before New York that if this ever got to be too much, you can stop.” He takes her hand and gives it a light kiss. “I understand. And you can rejoin me whenever you want. Merle would love to have someone to talk fashion with, again.” She giggles and nudges his shoulder.

“It’ll only be a couple weeks, and then I’ll meet you for your dates in Portland.” He nods along. A beat passes, neither of them breaking eye contact. One side of his lips slowly curls upwards, causing her smile to grow too. She places her hand on his tanned shoulder. “I’m so proud of you, Miller.”

His hand, that’s still on her waist, pulls her in until his lips are touching hers. What starts as a simple kiss turns into a small make out session, trying hard to keep it PG for the patrons around them.

\----

She’s been home for a week and she misses Nick immensely. He calls every day, even if it’s just for five minutes, to tell her about what Merle scheduled or what kind of fans he got to meet. His stories quickly become something she looks forward to.

She spends more time at Jaipur Aviv to Schmidt’s dismay. Winston and Ally even visit one night and they all have a family dinner. Jess starts to feel more and more like herself the more she’s surrounded by her friends. They ask her about Ness, but it never feels like a burden because they all know how truly messy and imperfect her and Nick are. There’s even a lunch where Ally, Cece and Jess share stories about their idiotic guys the whole time. Jess reminisces about the time Nick tried to crochet something for her as a surprise, but when she came home, his hands were stuck in the mess of yarn he made. “He messed with my yarn, but it was the thought that counted,” she laughs. Her heart pangs a little that he’s not there, but she recovers when her best friend follows with a story about the time Schmidt put on a wig to trick Ruth into thinking he was Cece to get her to stop crying. “I burned it that night.”

She fills the rest of her time making crafts and preparing for the upcoming school year. School starts in a month, and she’ll be back to traveling up until a week before the first day.

She’s on the couch finalizing the annual budget with some daytime cooking show on low volume in the background, when the sound of Nick’s voice pulls her attention. She whips her head around the loft, only to realize he’s on her television screen. Jess jumps and scrambles to find the remote beneath the heap of blankets and paperwork scattered across the couch. She turns the volume up and leans forward as far as her body will let her. _What the hell is he doing on a cooking show?_ She laughs at the sight of Nick wearing a floral apron with his dark beard starting to fill out. She never minded his scruff, but this length makes him look like a rebellious outlaw _._ Her heart stutters and she forces herself to focus on what he and the chef talk about.

“You seem a little stiff. Do you do any cooking at home? Chef Megan teases Nick, poking him gently in his side. Jess’s eyebrow slightly raises.

“Only part-time. Jessica and I switch off nights to make dinner, but everything I make is very simple. She’s, without a doubt, the better cook.” His girlfriend’s heart warms at the fact that he said her name as if everyone in the world should know who ‘Jessica’ is by now- which is kind of true, but it means more from him.

The host tells the audience they’ll be making a chocolate lava cake, and Jess laughs putting her head in her hands. She's almost too afraid to watch. Her boyfriend is great at a lot of things, but baking isn’t one of them. She tried to teach him in the past, but everything would turn out terribly. They finally agreed to accept that this wasn’t his thing when he set fire to a **finished** cake… a cake…that was sitting on the counter.

Jess was thoroughly enjoying watching him concentrate on the recipe, but her face falls when Megan scoots a little too close to him and puts her hand on his to show him how to mix the batter. It wouldn’t be a big deal if Jess could see where her other hand was placed behind him; but for all she knows, it could be tucked into his back pocket. Jess closes her eyes and takes three deep breaths. _I’m probably overreacting, she’s just doing her job._ She’s normally not the crazy-jealous type, and this isn’t the first time someone flirted with him while they were together, but this woman **knows** that he’s taken.

Nothing else happens for a while. She starts to convince herself that she really was overreacting and she just deeply misses him. That is until the cakes are finished and Megan goes to feed a bite to him. The principal’s jaw drops. She can see Nick pull back and try to take the fork in his own hands, but she’s too irritated to care. She clicks off the television, grabs her purse and goes to find Cece. Nick calls not ten minutes later, but she doesn’t want to talk. She sends him a message saying she’s busy and she’ll call later. She knows it’s not his fault, and he didn’t even do anything wrong, but she can’t ignore the annoyed feeling.

Jess meets her best friend at a grocery store. She rants about Chef Megan and her shameless flirting and even finds the video on YouTube. Cece mostly sides with her, but she also reminds Jess that Nick is a successful author now, and these things are going to happen. _Besides, it’s not like he’ll do anything to mess it up. Nobody gets him like you do, and he knows that._ Jess nods her head accepting the voice of reason. She replays Cece’s words over and over until her frustration slowly diminishes.

They continue to peruse the aisles looking for the long list of ingredients Schmidt sent his wife. Jess stays for dinner and listens to Schmidt talk about his day taking care of Ruth; there’s not much to it- eat, sleep, play, repeat, but he glows when he talks about his daughter and Jess adores the man that he’s become.

She calls Nick back when she gets home; it’s pretty late and she knows that he’s probably sleeping, but she tries anyway. He picks up on the last ring with a groggy hello. Guilt fills her immediately. She knows how important sleep is on the tour, so she apologizes profusely and offers to call him in the morning. Before she can hang up, she hears Nick plead with her to keep talking. A small smile forms as she obliges.

She tells him all about her mundane day of spreadsheets and television. When she gets to the part about watching his cooking segment, she gets embarrassed but tells him anyway, remembering Cece’s advice to talk about it together. Nick chuckles to himself as he visualizes a possessive Jess yelling at the T.V. She rarely gets jealous of anybody, so he finds it kind of cute when she does. They talk about how uncomfortable he was and how he couldn’t wait to tell her about Megan’s obvious passes.

The conversation leads into random topics about anything, and when Jess checks the clock on her nightstand, it’s already 1 a.m. _Oh my gosh! Nick, you have to get some sleep._ He refuses and they start to bicker about why he needs to sleep, and she’s not his mother and he can do what he wants. It’s a pitiful argument, but the passion that Jess begged for years ago is still there, and that’s enough for her to keep it up until it evolves into a fit of laughter on each end.

When she tries to say goodnight, he convinces her to stay on the phone a little longer until he feels tired. Jess falls asleep while he makes up a story for her. When he hears her steady breaths, he tucks himself in and lets the noise on the other end lull him away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to stay as true to the characters as possible.


	3. The Last Stop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alas, Nick Miller is on his last leg of his first tour. But challenges may still persist. Jess and Nick face the pressures of public opinion in her hometown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you've stuck with us this far, thank you. Every comment you left encouraged me to continue. Enjoy!

The principal bounces on her toes while she waits for Nick to emerge from the gate. Portland International is bustling with tourists trying to catch the tail end of the warm summer weather before it gets too cold. This is one of those times she wishes she had Cece’s height so she could see over the crowd. She spots a familiar suit wearing her favorite tie descending the escalator, and his face finally comes into sight. Finally, blue eyes meet brown. Nick wraps her in a hug so tight her feet come a few inches off of the laminate floors. He puts her down and delivers a deep kiss.

“I wish someone would greet me like that.” Merle jokes coming up behind Nick.

“I won’t do that, but I can give you this.” Jess throws her arms around the publisher and hugs him tight.

“Woah, you’ve got a mighty grip for someone your size.”

“We call her a professional hugger,” Nick jokes, retrieving his bag. The trio makes their way to where Jess parked the rental car.

\----

Joan Day welcomes the writer and his publisher with a greeting similar to what she tried to give Ryan. There’s a banner hanging across the kitchen that reads _Welcome, Pepperwood_ and a strange combination of zombie and book decorations everywhere. It reminds Jess of the special events her local library used to host during the summers. Her mom embraces Nick then repeats with Merle, who is still trying to absorb what he walked into. Merle agreed to stay with them after Jess insisted that it was the only true way to experience Oregon. He didn’t have the heart to tell her this isn’t his first time here.

The pair show him to the guest room and then find their way to Jess’s childhood bedroom. Nick closes the door behind him and is instantly reminded of the shrine of Jordan Catalano surrounded by little Jess heads. His eyes flick back and forth, unsuccessfully trying to accept that they are two different people. “Miller, let it go _._ ” He sets his bag down and joins her at the foot of the bed. It’s silent as they both take it in. Her head falls on his shoulder, and he hadn’t realized just how badly he missed her until now.

“I missed ya, doll.”

She lifts her eyes to meet his. “Me too, you clown.” His eyes follow the trail down to her lips and she seems to be thinking the same thing. She stretches her neck and meets his lips. It starts soft, but he hungrily tries to take in every inch of her mouth. A fire ignites in her stomach and she pulls him as close as she can, leaving no space in between. Nick falls on top of her. His hand navigates from her dark curls down to her waist and behind her back. He lifts her and pushes her back up the bed until her head reaches the pillow. She gasps at the pressure of his strong hand on her back. His lips find hers again and he devours them once more. Jess can feel his bulge on her leg. Her hand slides into his pants and wraps her fingers around him. Nick grabs her wrist before she can move it.

“Jess, we shouldn’t--”

“I need you, Nick.”

That’s all he needs to hear before he kisses her again and works at his belt. He slides his pants and briefs down to his ankles and gets to work on her tights. He pulls them down to her knees and her panties follow. She pulls her dress up to her stomach, wraps her arm around his neck and pulls his face back down to hers.

It was quick, and not as romantic as he would have liked, but it was still them. And he missed her so damn much.

Their eyes meet when they look up from redressing and Jess looks back down as a blush creeps up her cheeks. His lip starts to quirk up on one side and his heart beats a little faster. The combination of doing it in her childhood bedroom and the speed of it makes the atmosphere feel like they lost their virginities all over again.

Once they deem each other presentable, he follows her downstairs to find Merle and Joan deep in conversation over cookies and coffee.

“All settled in?” Joan asks, throwing a wink to Jess.

Her eyes widen in horror and her face flushes to a point that she almost looks transparent. Oblivious, Merle switches the conversation to Nick’s itinerary for the upcoming days. Nick tries to keep up while attempting to hide that his head is spinning. He’s pulled out of his trance when he feels Jess’s hand grasp his on the table.

“Did you hear me, Nick?”

He clears his throat and slowly nods until he accepts that Jess isn’t buying it.

“I said that we have to make time to see my dad, too.”

“We? Jess I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, especially, after last thanksgiving.”

“Nick it’ll be fine. He’s over it.”

“I wouldn’t blame him if he wasn’t. I set fire to his blazer WHILE HE WAS WEARING IT.”

“We put it out. It didn’t even burn skin.”

“He doesn’t like me, Jess.”

“That’s kind of true,” Joan whispers to Merle.

The couple engage in another stubborn stare down. Nick doesn’t back down, so Jess decides to bring out the big guns. She softens her eyes, tilts her head and pouts her bottom lip just enough. It only takes seconds for her boyfriend to fold. “Fine. But if he brings up thanksgiving even once…”

His publisher claps them out of it. “Okay, so we have the rest of the evening to settle in, and then an early interview. So, make sure you get your beauty sleep—both of you.” He gives them a pointed look and Jess loses her color all over again.

Merle retreats upstairs for the rest of the evening, claiming he needs to review manuscripts. Jess and Joan go to the store to get materials for dinner; Nick decides to stay back and work on the second installment of his series.

They sit in a comfortable silence in the car with some jazz station quietly playing in the background. Jess is in the middle of reflecting on her hometown when her mom interrupts her thoughts.

“Sooo you and Nick seem to be going strong.”

Her daughter doesn’t know where she’s going with this. Her mom can be tricky; she’s a trained psychologist, and can coax almost anything out of her if she’s not careful.

“Yup.”

“You’ve been back together for quite a while now.”

Jess tries to play innocent. “Have we? Uh, yeah I guess so.”

“And now that his name is getting out there, and he’s working on his second book, you guys are getting busier…and older-”

“-Mom, where are you going with this?

“I’m just saying neither of you are getting any younger. Have you talked about your future together?”

Jess finally concedes. She typically doesn’t like people prying into their relationship, but this is her mom and she’s always been able to tell her anything.

“It’s come up. Nick actually thinks about kids more than I do, but we never discuss details.”

“What about marriage?”

Jess has never put much thought into how much time they could be losing until now. Her mom’s words repeat back on loop. She releases a heavy sigh. “I don’t know. We always say that we’re happy taking it day by day-”

“But?”

“But you’re right. We’re not getting any younger. And I know I have more eggs than a chicken farm, but, yeah, we’re also getting busier.”

“You should talk to him about it.”

“I know. We’ve just been through so much already. This tour has been so much fun, but it’s had its obstacles too. Plus, this new ‘popularity’ and it’s just- it’s all so messy.”

“Do you love him?”

“More than anything.”

“And does he love you?”

“I like to think so.”

“Then talk to him. From what I’ve observed, there isn’t anything he wouldn’t do for you. I bet if you told him to call off this entire tour, he’d do it in a heartbeat.”

She stays silent. Everything her mom is saying is right. Jess finds her mind wandering to an image of Nick looking dapper in a tux waiting at the end of the alter.

After dinner, they play a few rounds of Boggle. Nick gets really into it to her surprise. _You guys think you can beat the writer at a game about words? Please, I got this in the bag._ She lets him believe he has a chance, but everyone knows this is the Day family game. He learns pretty quickly that he probably won’t win tonight. Eventually, Jess physically has to pull him away from the table when it gets too late.

Nick is already waiting for her in bed when she finishes her nighttime routine. Jess crawls into his side where he tightly wraps both arms around her as if this is the first time seeing each other in a year. Nothing needs to be said; they are home again.

\----

Jess wakes up to the sound of a thud followed by a muffled _shit._ She reaches for her glasses on the nightstand.

“Nick?”

Nick pops up from the floor in an intense struggle with his pants. He has one leg in and is struggling to put the other through. “Sorry Jess, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Where are you going?”

“To my interview.”

“Why didn’t you wake me?”

“I wanted to let you sleep in. Besides, I didn’t think you’d want to come to another boring interview.”

“Of course I want to go. I’m gonna support you even when we’re marri-“ Jess stops herself, but she can tell by the size of his eyes he knew how she was going to finish that. They stare at each other not knowing how to move forward.

Jess finally clears her throat, “Um, just let me go get changed.” She picks out an outfit from her suitcase and makes a beeline for the bathroom.

She watches the news anchor go through the routine questions for Nick. ( _Routine_. She never thought she’d say that before.) It seems like they’re wrapping it up until she hears her name. During her time off, Jess thought about how much she’s okay with being in the spotlight. She knows that she’s always going to support her partner, and if doing some interviews supports him and his career, so be it. But she also decided that she doesn’t have to do any press by herself if she doesn’t want to. Jessica Day is not Jessica Night.

Once again, she’s used to the unexpected call on stage, but this time, it’s for the news anchor she’s been watching since she was a child. Her heart rate begins to pick up and she can’t fight it when the producer attaches a mic to her and walks her on stage. She has to wipe the sweat off her palms before shaking her hand.

“Hi Julian,” she stammers. “I’m a big fan, I’ve been watching you for decades.” She takes her place next to Nick, and tries to control her breathing.

“It’s nice to meet a loyal viewer. So, Jessica, you were born and raised right here in Portland; you move to Los Angeles where you meet this **gorgeous** author; and now, you’re the inspiration behind a growing best-seller novel. Did you ever think this is how your life would turn out?”

The principal chuckles at the truth of it all. “No, I never thought it would go this way. To be honest, I always thought that I’d meet someone, I’d teach and we would live a simple life.” Jess swears she saw Nick cringe out of the corner of her eye; she reaches over and takes his hand. “But I love this life and I wouldn’t change anything about it.”

“That’s so sweet. Nick what can we expect between Night and Pepperwood in the second book?”

He pauses. “Uhh their relationship is definitely going to progress. I haven’t quite determined how.” There’s a weird tension in the air that only Nick and Jess seem to notice. The ring his mom gave him in Chicago hasn’t been touched since she gave it to him, but that doesn’t mean he’s hasn’t thought about it every day since then. Julian’s smile only seems to grow wider.

“Jessica, what has it been like adjusting to this new kind of fame?”

“It’s been… interesting.” Everyone giggles at her hesitation. “It’s very new territory for me, but I’m glad that people are recognizing how great the book is. Nick did amazing with each of the relationships in the book.” She’s been getting better at the evasion techniques Merle taught them. It’s how they answer a question without actually answering it.

Julian asks the pair a few more questions and they finish the segment. Jess is getting a picture with her hometown anchor while Nick meets Merle back in the greenroom. When he closes the door behind him, he releases a frustrated groan.

“Woah, what’s with the heavy? That interview looked like it went perfectly,” Merle asks.

“They just keep pressuring me! _Will Pepperwood and Jessica Night get married? Are Nick Miller and Jessica Day engaged?_ It’s all the same and I don’t know how to answer!” His voice gets increasingly loud as he continues until Merle shoves a pillow in his face. “Thank you. I needed that.” He takes a seat on the couch and Merle follows.

“Nick, I hate to say it, but this is how it’s going to be for the rest of your career. You created these characters that everyone fell in love with, and then everyone fell in love with you and Jess-“

“-Are you trying to make me feel better right now?”

“BUT just because everyone wants to know, doesn’t mean they get to know. You control the story. You answer the questions. Nobody gets to dictate how your relationship goes.” Nick is surprised that somehow his publisher knew that it wasn’t about his characters. He nods in understanding as his shoulders relieve just a tad. “Come on, next stop is The Oregonian.”

Jess noticed he was quiet on the ride back home. At first she thought it was just exhaustion, but his body language tells her that he’s in his head again. She wants to help- in fact it’s taking everything in her to fight her impulsive need to help- but she knows that he needs to sort it out for himself first.

“Hey. Are you okay?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah, I’m good. Great, actually. It was a good day.” He takes her hand in his and gives it a squeeze to try to reassure her.

“Merle, does he have any free time on the schedule tomorrow?”

Merle checks his phone. “He has some readings in the morning and then a long lunch break before we have to get to the radio station.”

“I’m going to take him for that lunch break, and then we have dinner plans with my dad.”

Nick’s ears perk. “Where are we going?”

“Where did we come from? Where do we go?” They laugh, recalling the night of one of the best decisions he’s ever made.

The following morning Nick and Merle head off to his readings at the bookstore and the library. Jess decided to stay back and spend some time with her mom. It was fairly uneventful. They baked a cake and then Jess participated in her mom’s book club. She was enjoying it up until someone mentioned going on a trip. When a small plastic bag started getting passed around, Jess quickly excused herself and proceeded to her bedroom.

She caught up on the book the “club” was reading until it was time to go meet Nick for lunch. The women were still on a trip so Jess figured Joan wouldn’t need the keys anytime soon. She swiped them and then made her way to the library she spent almost every day in during the summers.

“So, where are we going?” Nick asked as he buckled his seatbelt.

“First, we’re picking up sandwiches from **the best** deli in Portland.“

“I’ll be the judge of that.”

“Then, there’s this spot I want to show you.”

The hill they sit on overlooks a large park busied with people enjoying the warm summer weather complemented with a slight breeze. It feels like they are in their own fortress surrounded by luscious trees on a single bench preserved just for them. They can see everyone and everything in the neighborhood below them, but nobody would ever know of their presence.

“So, what did you guys call this? Makeout Mountain?”

Jess giggles. “Actually, nobody else knows about this place. I found this one day after my crush rejected me. I ditched the rest of my classes and stumbled upon this.”

“Jessica Day ditched class? I don’t buy it.”

She slightly shoves him. “Hey I could be rebellious sometimes. Like one time I was dared to pull a prank on a teacher, so I stole her lunch since I was the only one who had access to the teacher’s lounge.” He chuckles and they fall into silence again. “Hey. Are you sure you’re doing okay? It seems like something’s been bothering you.”

Nick looks over to Jess and sees the sincerity in her eyes. They’re kind, and concerned, and everything he fell in love with. “Yesterday at the news station, did you mean what you said about living a simple life? Do you ever wish for that?”

His muse stays quiet and looks back out to the park; her silence is starting to make him sweat. “Honestly Nick, yeah, I do sometimes. I always thought I’d be a teacher and marry some boring guy in accounting and we’d live a mundane life with kids and a dog and everything would be so easy. But it’s not easy.” He tries to process her words without feeling too anxious before she continues.

“But I also meant it when I said that I wouldn’t change any of it. Our lives are busy and we’re chaos, and we have no clue what tomorrow will bring, but I love every minute of it. I love that you’re not boring and that you get irrationally angry sometimes. I love that you tell stories and make jokes even if you’re the only one that thinks they are funny. You’re the man that I love, Nick-knack.”

In this moment he wished he had his grandmother’s ring in his pocket. It would be impulsive and crazy, but that’s what he and Jess are. And she’s right- he wouldn’t change any of it.

“Jess…” She looks at him with only love in her eyes. He should do this. This is the perfect time. He tries repeatedly to ask, but his voice catches in his throat. So instead, he just leans in and kisses her with everything he has to offer. They’re both breathless when he pulls away. It was hot and sweet at the same time. She’s not sure she could ever get used to that.

“Come on. I gotta get you back to your next meeting.” They wrap up their food and make the decent down the hill.

Each of them is caught up in their own thoughts on the ride back. Part of Jess regrets not taking the opportunity to ask Nick’s perception about getting married; meanwhile, the latter is preoccupied with the decision he almost made. He doesn’t even know how she feels about it. _Does this mean I’m ready? If I am, what next? Am I supposed to ask her dad for his blessing? How would Pepperwood do it?_

They arrive at the radio station and she decides to stick around. They show her and Merle into a room behind the glass where they can watch Nick on the other side.

He doesn’t know what to expect. Radio interviews aren’t the typical appearance for authors, but they apparently requested him for one. Without sounding like a complete child, he wishes that they’ll make all those obnoxious sound effects after he says something funny or bizarre or even sad.

This interview was way different from the others; and it was surprisingly refreshing! The DJ’s looked like they could be high school students, and unlike the other people, they cared more about who the author is than the book. They asked the basic inquiries about the book, but after the first three, they started to get into Nick Miller himself: where he’s from, life as a bartender, what law school was like, etc. They even got into a small debate about his favorite sports teams. Needless to say, he had a blast. His bubble didn’t even burst when Jess told him they had to go get ready for dinner with her dad.

Some hours and a small fuss about his wardrobe later, the pair are seated across from good ole’ Bob Day. As always, the greeting was intense with Bob squeezing Nick’s hand just a little too hard, but Jess, being an experienced buffer, was able to ease the tension. The conversation flows smoothly. Bob takes more of an interest in his daughter than the successful author, but Jess tries to tie him in when she can (which is almost, always having spent their entire summer together). After a glass of whiskey each, the men in her life finally start to get along. She excuses herself and makes way for the restroom.

Bob and Nick sit comfortably in silence, appreciating the second drink in their hand. Then Mr. Day clears his throat. “So what’s going on with you and my daughter?”

He hopes playing dumb might buy him some time. “What do you mean?”

“I mean what are you guys doing? You’re doing this dance that never seems to end. _We’re taking it day-by-day. Are we getting married? I don’t know!_ Both of you looked like a deer in headlights the minute Julian Saunters asked that question.” Nick whips his head back to him. “Yeah, I saw that interview. So, should I be expecting you to ask for my blessing anytime soon?”

He sips his drink and lets it sit before it slides down to leave the slow burn. “I honestly don’t know, Bob. I used to think that’s what she wanted, but after Pepperwood blew up our lives and made her Jessica Night, I’m not sure that’s not what she wants right now.” They both take another sip and let it resonate. “I’ll tell you this, though: Jess is it for me. If I’m going to make a vow in front of dozens of people, it will only be to her.”

The slight head nod tells Nick that Bob accepts that answer and he won’t push it further. On que, the subject of conversation returns and the evening mood lightens again. At the end of the meal, Bob tries to push for dessert; Nick is completely on board, but Jess has to deny her father, reminding him that his blood pressure is already too high.

Nick makes sure Jess is secure in the car before he shuts her door and starts for the other side. Before he can walk, her dad, who is waiting for their depart, stops him.

“Nick, I know you may piss me off and I don’t always agree with your decisions, but the truth is I’m glad Jess has you to take care of her- not that she needs anyone- but I see how happy you make her. The day you decide to ask me for my blessing, I’ll be ready.” Bob sticks out his hand for her boyfriend to shake.

“Thanks, Bob.” Nick shakes his hand and returns to the vehicle.

Moments after pulling off the curb, Jess speaks over the soft radio. “That’s such an archaic tradition.” She looks over at him, amused by the size his eyes have grown. She can tell that he’s searching for a cover story, but after a moment, he exhales and looks back to the road.

“Maybe. But it’s one I’m gonna keep.”

\----

When Nick wakes up, Jess isn’t next to him. He waits a few minutes to see if she’d reappear, but when he hears the sound of pots clanking in the kitchen, he knows she’s up for the day. He rubs his eyes and forces himself out of bed. He’s a tad disappointed by the grunt he involuntarily made when he lifted his body; he didn’t think he was that old. Nick searches for the boxers Jess so quickly took off the night before and fishes a pair of sweats out of his suitcase.

Jess has her back turned to him while she flips the pancakes on the stove. Nick takes a quick glance around the kitchen, and when the coast is clear he sneaks up behind her, pulling her close and planting a kiss on her neck.

“Hey-a, fella. Sleep well?”

Nick still hasn’t let go of her waist. “I slept great! You?”

“I slept amazing. But we must’ve worked up and appetite last night, because I woke up famished.”

“Me too. I feel like we’re teenagers sneaking around in your bed after curfew, it’s kind of fun.” He turns her and gives her an official good morning kiss. “Speaking of which where is everyone?”

Jess turns back to flip the pancakes. “Merle is visiting an old friend and Mom said something about mountain biking today.”

“So we have the place to ourselves today?” Nick asked placing kisses down her neck.

She giggles when he gets to that sensitive spot he knows so well. “Yess, but I thought we’d do something fun today.”

“Well I don’t know about you, but I had a blast doing that last night.”

She tilts her head at his boyishness. “I did, too. But I was thinking something to take some of the stress off. You’re at the tail end of your two-month tour, you deserve a break.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“I was thinking we could make our way to the coast. We could grab lunch on the beach, spend some time outside, maybe do some shopping…” Her voice piques and her boyfriend internally rolls her eyes because he knows they’re coming back with a new dress.

“Okay. We just have to be back in time by dinner, because Merle scheduled a dinner with some important journalist I guess.”

She nods and places the last flapjack on his plate. They finish breakfast and make their way upstairs. They may be on a time crunch, but Jess can’t deny a round of steamy shower sex that Nick provokes. Jess packs a day bag and they make their way west.

Jess was right: this was everything they didn’t know they needed. He’s loved every minute of this publicity campaign, but it was really great not to have an itinerary for a day. They could do whatever they please without having to consider anyone else.

Getting to the beach was a short road trip. When they arrived, they took a barefoot walk in the sand until they settled on a blanket. Jess read while Nick brainstormed more ideas for the next book. They finally got hungry and walked back to beach town where they had a seafood lunch on a patio. It wasn’t without their signature bickering. Jess tried to convince him to try some kind of fish, but he wouldn’t budge. “ _Fish eat where they poop, it’s gross Jess!”_ The sound of seagulls and the breeze made it feel like Nick was in some fancy vacation commercial where money doesn’t exist.

Sure, they have the same environment back home, but this one feels different. He can tell that Jess feels the same way because she has a soft glow that hasn’t dimmed since they arrived.

His girlfriend wanted to walk off the lunch, so they visited some of the local boutiques. He was absolutely bored, but at the same time, he didn’t want to be anywhere else. Sure enough, she almost had a completely new wardrobe collecting. “ _Don’t judge, I need clothes for the new school year.”_ By the look on his turtle-face, she could tell he didn’t understand.

Jess hesitates when she notices the time. She doesn’t want to leave; she almost wants him to skip the dinner entirely, but she knows how important this is for him. Surprisingly, Nick is the one that tried to get her to stay, but **someone** has to be the responsible one here _._ They reluctantly load up the car and make their way back to her hometown.

They have just enough time for Nick to take a quick shower and change. He puts on his “good pair of jeans” (the darkwash without any rips in them), a light blue button down and completes it with a simple brown blazer. Jess will never get tired of this look. Jess chooses one of the simple blue dresses she bought today that make her eyes look like they’re diamonds themselves. She gives her hair a simple curl and touches up her soft makeup.

Nick volunteers to drive this time because Jess drove to the beach. He plugs the address in on his phone and heads into Downtown Portland.

“Turn left here,” Jess directs.

The author checks the GPS then quizically looks to her. “But the GPS says to keep going straight.”

“Yeah, but this way will be faster.”

“Don’t you think that the map would’ve given me the fastest route?”

“But the map didn’t grow up here, I did. I know what I’m talking about.”

Nick misses the turn and continues on the route. “Why wouldn’t the map know what it’s talking about? The world’s smartest scientists built a satellite, then sent it into space so it probably knows what it’s talking about!” Tension is rising in the car, and he is doing his best to keep his voice at a reasonable volume.

“Are you saying I don’t know what I’m talking about?” Jess matches his slightly elevated volume.

“Well it’s been awhile since you’ve been here, Jess. Maybe the roads have changed!” His grip is slowly tightening on the wheel.

“They haven’t changed. I know this because the last time I was here was two-and-a-half years ago where I stayed for several weeks!”

“OH, YOU MEAN WHEN YOU RAN AWAY?”

“I DID NOT RUN AWAY.”

“YOU DID. YOU RAN AWAY BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T TELL ME HOW YOU FELT.”

“YOU WERE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE! I DIDN’T WANT TO PUT YOU IN THAT POSITION.”

“I DIDN’T LOVE HER LIKE I LOVE YOU. MAYBE THAT’S WHY WE CAN’T GET MARRIED. BECAUSE WE STILL CAN’T TELL EACH OTHER HOW WE FEEL.”

For a moment, her voice returns to a normal, almost fatigued level. “That’s not why we can’t get married.”

Nick is still in the heat of it and doesn’t recognize her volume change. “WHY?”

“BECAUSE YOU DRIVE ME NUTS MILLER!”

He doesn’t even register that they’ve pulled up to the restaurant until the valet taps on his window. He signals to the guy in the red vest to give them another minute, then takes a deep breath. When he looks to Jess he swears he sees her wipe at a tear that falls as quickly as it arrived.

“Jess-“

“Go, Nick. I’m gonna sit this one out.”

He doesn’t move. He doesn’t know what the right move is. He opens his mouth to say something, anything, but he’s at a loss.

“Go, Nicholas. I’m fine.”

He swallows the lump in his throat and exits the vehicle. She switches seats and drives off. Nick takes another moment to regain his composure before he enters the restaurant.

The interview, or conversation- whatever this is- is a blur. The author knows he’s answering everything the journalist asks, but he isn’t mentally there. The whole time, his mind is racing through the fight wondering how it exploded so quickly. _Where did that even come from._

At one point, when the interviewer excuses himself to get a drink at the bar, Merle has to ask if he’s doing okay. He tries to cover by saying it’s just burnout from the trip, but he can’t tell if he bought it. Frankly, he doesn’t really care.

Meanwhile, Jess drives aimlessly throughout the city. She doesn’t want to go home alone, and she definitely doesn’t want her dad to see her so upset. Thus, she drives throughout the city she grew up in, racking her brain to figure out where that conversation took such a sharp turn. When the song All Out of Love comes on, she loses any composure she had. She pulls into a vacant parking lot and lets the tears fall. In a way, it’s slightly cathartic. After listening to the song on repeat several times, she begins to get an awareness of her surroundings.

She recognizes the park; her and Cece spent a few hundred nights sneaking up here when they needed to talk, or vent, or cry. Sometimes they would even shout until they lost their voices.

Jess exits the car and walks through the park until she reaches the edge of the field. She finds the familiar trail and walks the few yards until she spots the old, wooden bench still as strong as ever. She looks to the pond in front of her. Memories flood her head of all the boys she loved before that didn’t love her back, of all the names they would attach to rocks that never came true, of the last time she was there and she wished that whoever it was lived close by. Maybe she knew all along, or maybe she didn’t, but it always came back to the boy across the hall. Her wish finally came true.

Jess realizes she lost track of time when her phone chimes next to her on the bench. She’s resistant to check it, at first, but then she remembers she left Nick stranded at the restaurant.

 **Nick:** Done with dinner. Are you home?

All she can do is share her location and let the rest play out. If he wants to join, he will. Almost twenty minutes later Jess hears a stick crack in the distance. Her heart nearly jumps out of her chest until she hears his familiar call, “Jess?”

“Over here.”

Her boyfriend makes his way to the bench, but doesn’t sit right away. He awkwardly stands in front of her with his hands in his pockets. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Another moment passes until she slides over to give him room to sit next to her. He accepts her offer. Moments feel like millennials and neither of them knows who will speak first.

“Jess, I’m-“

“Nick, listen-“ They always did work together like a well-oiled machine.

“Jessica, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to throw you going away back in your face. It was mean and immature and I hate that I made you cry. It’s the last thing I ever want to do.”

A wave of guilt rushes over her when she sees sorrow in his eyes. “No, Nick, I’m sorry. You were right- I did run. I never wanted to accept it, but I was a coward. I was in love with you and I couldn’t stand the thought of you possibly rejecting me and then losing you.”

“Wait, wait- you **were** in love with me? You don’t love me anymore?” Nick jokes.

She can’t fight the small smile that creeps on her face, so she playfully punches his arm for ruining the moment.

“So it sounds like our dilemma is that we love each other so much that we can’t tell each other how we feel. Well isn’t that ironic- me, an author, and you, an English teacher can’t find the words.” They chuckle at the situation.

“Well it sounds like even after all these years, we still can’t figure out how to do it. Where did all that marriage stuff come from?”

Nick releases a heavy sigh as if his secret has just been exposed. “I don’t really know. To be honest, it’s come up quite a bit in my world and it’s forcing me to think about it. Everyone keeps asking me and I guess the pressure just built up. My mom even gave me a ring when we were in Chicago.”

“I’ve been thinking about it, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. My mom made me realize that we’re not getting any younger, and the more books you write and the more that I take on at work, our lives aren’t slowing down anytime soon. I let people get inside my head too.”

“I know. And there have been so many moments where all I’ve wanted to do was get on one knee and make a promise to you, but I could never figure out how you felt about it. And then we became “America’s Beloved Couple”- which is total crap, by the way, because there are probably way more couples that are more exciting than us-“ Jess laughs and the mood lightens again. “Anyway, I just didn’t know if you wanted to do this now that Jessica Night is a part of your life.”

Jess looks back to the peaceful pond. The former English teacher knows everything she feels, but she has to search for the right words to express it accurately.

“Do you remember when we came out here after my dad’s wedding and we all through a rock in there?” He quietly nods. “I said to say a name in your head, throw the rock in the pond and they’ll love you forever. I didn’t know it at the time, but deep down I think I wished for you. I never picked a name. I said, ‘whoever you are, I can’t wait to meet you. And I hope you live close by.’”

Jess can see the pieces start to come together in his head, so she continues. “Maybe I wanted you to love me forever. Miller, Jessica Night is a part of one of your greatest accomplishments and I’m honored that I get to be the inspiration behind it. I wouldn’t change a thing about any of this. I will endure a thousand more interviews if that means I get to do them with you. Because I’m not going anywhere. I’m all in.”

“I’m all in. And, only we will know when it’s the right time to take this to the next level. But I do want you to know, I think about it too. We’d have an awesome wedding and an even cooler bachelor’s party-“

“-bachelor party.”

“Why would it be bachelor party? It’s the bachelor’S party, like MY bachelor party.”

“It’s bachelor. Trust me, I’m right.” She seals it with a kiss and Crush Pond easily becomes her favorite hometown memory.

\----

“ _Even now, even covered in the blood of the man they both knew as Schmith, the two sat in silence in the hot, New Orleans night, waiting for the words that would never come.”_

The applause rings in his ears, but the author of the Pepperwood Chronicles isn’t ready to look up just yet. With both hands gripping the respective sides of the podium, his shoulders fall, releasing the bundle of emotions he didn’t expect: relief, grief, pride and nostalgia. He looks to the audience and takes in the last crowd of his first tour; teens and adults of all kinds fill the chairs- an audience he never expected to garner. He spots Merle in the back with a satisfied grin. His eyes peel to his right just in time to see a happy tear fall down his girlfriend’s cheek, and her hands profusely clapping.

Jess probably feels prouder than he does, but he must admit, he has a bigger sense of accomplishment than he’s ever felt before. He did it!

And now, he’s ready to wrap this up and be home with more motivation to write the next part.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback always welcome!


	4. Epilogue

“Schmidt, how did this happen?” an agitated Nick asks. The last thing he needs is another broken pipe just days after returning from a 15-week tour. All he wants to do is lay on his couch and sleep for a month. “I thought we got all the plumbing taken care of the last time this happened.”

Schmidt just shrugs and follows Nick into the unlit bar. “And why is it so dark in here?!” There’s a part of him that missed being able to be grumpy when he felt like it.

“I had to shut it down and send everyone home,” he responds melodramatically.

When Nick flicks on the lights, he’s met with a booming _surprise_ by his makeshift family surrounded by ribbons and balloons. Jess is at the center of it all, standing behind a sheet cake that reads _Congrats on not failing!_

“What’s all this for?” He looks to his girlfriend who, he has no doubt, is the brains behind all of this.

“You just finished a very successful tour of your first published book. We’re celebrating you!”

Nick tries to brush it off with a wave of his hand, but he’s secretly honored. Everyone he loves is there- the Bishops, the Schmidts, including his beautiful goddaughter, and Jess even has his mom on a video call. He’s too macho to let his emotions show, so he changes the topic.

“What are we waiting for? Let’s drink some beer and eat some cake!” The gang accepts and cuts into the treat.

He takes the time to catch up with the rest of his friends. He’s relieved that they don’t ask a lot of questions about his tour, which he can only assume is a consequence of Jess keeping them updated throughout the trip. Schmidty and Nicky are having a good time laughing at the effects of Winston’s fourth fruity cocktail, and Jess and Cece catch up, while keeping Ruth entertained. Everything feels like home.

The celebration has probably exceeded its time frame, but no one shows any signs of leaving anytime soon. Aly and Cece are trying to bring Winston off the bar (with Schmidt laughing in the background), when Jess pulls Nick aside. He’s had a couple beers as well, but he’s still relatively coherent.

“Jessica!”

“Hey, mister. Are you having fun?”

“Oh definitely. This was so awesome of you.”

“We all pitched in. We just wanted to show how proud we are of you. You did it, Miller!” His eyes are slightly heavy, but Jess can see the love in his brown orbs.

“I guess I did, didn’t I.” Another adoring moment of everything that doesn’t need to be said passes between the two. Nick stretches his back and releases a grunt. “Gosh I gotta be honest, J-Day, I’m happy to be home. I am worn out.”

She laughs in agreeance with him. “I know what you mean. Can you imagine if we had to do anything longer than a summer? Like a 6-month tour? I don’t think we could do it.”

They mock the idea and go help the others pull Winston down. “Yeah, like that could ever happen.”


End file.
